Bixby the Preteen Girl

Bill the Dog has been posting photos with his buddy Frog, so I wanted to get a photo of Bixby with Ollie. Usually you can find Ollie crammed so far down Bixby's face it's a wonder he's not choking. The lighting is pretty bad in our house, so I figured we could get a nice shot outside. Apparently, though, One does not play with One's Ollie where others might see. MOM.

Did It and Pictures

I can't believe MonkeySee is already gearing up for his senior year of high school.

I keep doing the math, but this can't possibly be right. At the same time, I kind of can't wait for the adventure that's going to unfold for him. Senior year is kind of awesome.

And it's going to suck. Mostly for me.

Taking inspiration from the inspirational, I read one of my poems at the last Midtown Out Loud:

The Monkeys went with me to a Summer Soiree and indulged me in a ridiculous amount of Pool Antics Photography.

Totally my favorite.

Here's MonkeyDo wrangling both dogs after their baths this past weekend.

Here's a pro-tip if you own more than one dog: you can totally wash more than one dog in the 25 minutes a dog wash token gives you. Unless one of those dogs is Gomi and you spend a ginormous chunk of time getting all the crud out and attempting to return her to her beautifully white (not yellow) glory.

Eventually you give up, but you still have to ask the staff for more time because that dog takes forever to dry.

Cover Your K9 Fundraiser - This Weekend!

I'd been off track for the last week or more, so, when I got up Sunday (and didn't go do my normal Sunday morning routine), I decided some cleaning was in order.

Unfortunately for the dogs, I started with them.

Bixby has turned into a pretty good bather. Right up until it's time to start drying off, then he wants me to hold his hand.

The bonus, though, was that I found out about a fundraiser coming up this weekend - the Save a K9 Fundraiser!

June 30th and July 1st (Saturday and Sunday), 100% of the cost of each dog wash goes to support a non-profit organization called Cover Your K9, which helps "provide customized bullet-proof vests, heat alarms for patrol cars, K-9 first aid kits and other specialized equipment to keep our hardworking police dogs protected while they are at work protecting us."

Cover Your K9 is working to keep the police dogs of northern California safer while on patrol, and that's definitely a cause I can get behind. If you're local, you're probably familiar with Bodie's story. He was shot in the line of duty at the end of May. While a bulletproof vest probably wouldn't have helped Bodie, who was shot in the leg and the jaw, Bodie's case makes this fundraiser particularly timely.

Pet Food Express also happens to be one of my favorite places to take the dogs for a bath. When you have strong, ornery dogs that really dislike being washed or blown dry, the Pet Food Express setup is really ideal. It's sturdy and everything is one place, so you don't have to manuever your dog to another table for the blow dryer. Most of the time, I don't even get them out of the wash basin when I dry them, because I don't have to and it's just easier.

All 43 northern California Pet Food Express locations are participating in the fundraiser and the funds stay local, helping your local police dogs. So come on out. You know your dog is stinky.

Dogs by the Sea

On Saturday - my first free Saturday in six weeks! - we took both dogs to Bodega Bay.

They were pretty excited.

After lunch, I had the brilliant idea to take a photo of Bixby & Gomi together with the ocean in the background.

This is possibly more complicated than it seems like it should be.

While the dogs were mostly well behaved during the trip, one of them counter surfed the top half of my sandwich. Because clearly I am out of practice with having food in the open around dogs.

After scolding Bixby (of course it was Bixby) and retreiving the parts he stole, I gave them to Gomi.

Who refused to eat them.

Success! Kind of.

All things considered, it was a pretty good day. I hope the dogs had fun. Since they were mostly well behaved, I see more outings in our future.

I have to say that it's kind of nice to finally be able to take Bixby some places without him acting like a total asshole.

Dog parks are definitely still on the "not even kind of" list.

Oh, well.

Wordless Wednesday - Bixby!

A Bixby Weekend

My dog sure is handsome. Here he poses with Crate #5. Yes. Number 5. Notice it's been reinforced with zipties. Notice, also, that there are no ribs to be seen on my shiny dog. Although it may be a trick of the pose, he is certainly much fatter and glossier now than he was a year ago.

Somewhere along the way, he learned what the ice cream truck is. Saturday afternoon, he went positively apeshit when it came rolling up our street. Fortunately I had doggy ice cream cups leftover in the freezer. I wonder if the family that abandoned him fed him off the ice cream truck, or if a kind ice cream truck driver fed him. I don't know. But I suspect we'll be going through a lot of doggy ice cream this summer.

Maybe I should warn the ice cream truck driver to stock up?

Sunday we swapped out his crate and then took him & Gomi for baths. In the crazy ass Fountains parking lot, this involved quite a walk. I bought the "buy three, get one free" deal at Pet Food Express and, on a tip from the clerk, got both dogs washed using only one token. This is amazing, because the dogs go for baths pretty regularly when it's warm.

After our adventure, Bixby was given a big, meaty bone to chew on in his spanky new crate (with the temporarily whole crate pad).

Later that night, I passed his crate on my way out to the van and he was laying there perfectly still, with his wide open. I called to him and he didn't respond. Naturally, I assumed he was dead. On the third try, though, he blinked and snapped his head up at me.

Holy shit.

Chuck Norris Dog was sleeping.

Will wonders never cease?

PS: Tomorrow we'll talk about the adventure Gomi had at my trail race. And maybe about the adventure I had there, too.

Bixby Goes to Wendy's

Bixby is a lot more hopeful (and pushy) because he's been to this drive through before (*ahem*SweetPea*ahem*).

SweetPea got him nuggets, but Mom's is infinitely more interesting.

Finally!

The good shit!

And then we had to have a freak out barking at another dog. In another vehicle. Um. 'Kay.

Mister Bixber

Because I know you've missed pictures of my favorite shithead.

Unlike some other blogs, I won't be putting a modesty patch on my dog. Because he's a dog. If you can't handle seeing dog bits, there's probably something going on that only intensive mental health care can assist you with.

He really enjoys checking out what's going on through the drive through window at Starbucks. The face he makes when he realizes that none of that goodness is going into his mouth is absolutely priceless. A more disappointed mug you never did see.

Wordless Wednesday - Squirrel Edition

Totally Random Tuesday

In case you were wondering why I've pretty much stopped selling things on etsy, here's a pretty good summation of why. And because I just don't have the time to maintain all the crazy crap that "successful etsians" suggest for promoting your shop. And then, of course, there are the "successful etsians" who are all "I don't do all that crap, my shop just took off. Woo!" And I just don't have enough friends, family & blog followers to really make my shop successful.

Surprisingly.

It also doesn't help that this shit actually sold. That's right. Two dozen #2 pencils sold for $15 plus $10 shipping. Hey, for $6.58, you can get 24 Ticonderoga pre-sharpened #2 pencils. Does anyone else have an inexplicable attachment to pencils that look like this? Just me? Moving on.

As my dad says, some people have more money than sense. Which doesn't explain why they wouldn't buy my stuff. I guess that's because I don't have time to relist items all day long and post constantly to the forums and to comment on random blog posts.

What am I doing instead, you might ask? Um. No idea.

But I did donate a print _{of SweetPea's} to the Gender Bender Ball's Art Auction. Other than that, I really have no idea and I'm kind of focusing on my word art and, also, That One Art Project That Will Probably Involve a Blow Torch.

Who just called their Insurance Guy to ask about fire insurance?

In totally unrelated news, have you ever wondered what Bixby the Wonder Freak sounds like in Real Life? This is totally your luck day. Here's a video of my Main Man losing his shit over a squirrel at the park. Go ahead and crank the sound. You know you want to.



This is a pretty typical reaction to squirrels. Also cats, birds, dogs on leashes and people who might look like they want to give him a treat. Not all the time. He's honestly not quite that bad. But when he does wig out? This is what it looks like.

This is why you never get to go anywhere fun, Bixby.

Ok, fine. You really can't hear one without hearing the other. So here's Miss Gomi, a.k.a. "Gome-slice", singing.



Do y'all have any idea how many times I've tried to get you a video of that?

Finally, randomly, this almost kind of funny video demonstrates how cult-like disciples of specific workout regimes can be.



Not that I haven't totally sounded like this about yoga or anything.

*ahem*

One more? OK. I totally snaked this from Drunk Cyclist because it cracked me the fuck up. I love how excited everyone gets when a rider takes something.

Tour of Utah - Queen Stage - Wacky Food Hand Ups from Roots Culture Connect on Vimeo.

A Weekend of Dogs

On Friday nights Bixby goes to Obedience Class. As a special treat last Friday, SweetPea came with us. Because Mr. Bixby can't be trusted not to chew his way through my van, I sat in the back with him while SweetPea drove.


Here he is acting sullen because I won't let him lick me. Yes. I love dogs and hate doggy kisses. Come on! He eats poop for fuck's sake! I really don't want poop slobber on me. Thanks.

Saturday morning, Bixby and I went for a walk, and then we got coffee and gas.


Here he's "helping" me at the gas station by playing "find the treats" while I pump gas. Isn't he considerate?

Afterwards, we went to the vet's office where we got a proper weighing (up 11 pounds since early March!), had blood drawn and then lost our shit barking at some quiet dog who was attempting to mind his own beeswax. Why? Because my dog is an asshole, that's why.


When we were all done at the vet's office, I absofuckinglutely did not take his schizoid ass to Pet-a-palooza.

Instead, I went home and swapped dogs. Of course, the fun part about owning a white dog is how frequently she's not white at all.


First stop? Bath time! This time around, Mud to Suds got the nod. Because they're closest. And not on the "Yeah But No" list. Bonus that they have whitening shampoo and whip it up on the spot for you. They gave us a pretty big bottle of it, which was great, because Gomi was super grody and I used it all up.

And then she was pretty! Yay!

Then it was off to Pet-a-palooza which was pretty packed. I think they did a pretty good job keeping traffic and parking moving, considering there really isn't enough parking at Rusch Park. We didn't stay that long because it was super crowded, I didn't find the vendors particularly interesting and Gomi seems to have completely forgotten how to walk on a leash. And by that I mean "don't trip mom, dumbass". Basically, it got old quick.

And then some dumb bitch's unaltered French bulldog picked a fight with Gomi and I was pretty much over the experience.

I don't think I will ever understand people who feel like it's acceptable to bring antisocial dogs to dog places. Then again, I don't understand people who don't alter their pets. But don't worry! She also had a female French bulldog who was probably not altered, either. Surely she's a "responsible"* breeder.


Gomi had a pretty good time and was one pooped pup by the time we got back to the van.

In related news, I got the call yesterday that Mr. Bixby does still need to take his thyroid meds. Pooh. But I'm still pretty happy that he's otherwise so healthy.

*Here, "responsible" is being used sarcastically to indicate someone who probably has no clue what they're doing but enjoys charging fat fees for sub-par puppies. $10 says one or both parents ends up at the pound inside two years.

Rainy Days and Dogs

On Saturday, I took Gomi out & about. I had decided that it was high time that Miss Smelly had a bath. As much as it's been raining, recently, bathing her seemed fairly pointless.

So we hopped in the van, turned on Stella, our GPS, and...


Mom, why is the box talking?
You can totally see her little brain hamster spinning its wheel trying to figure that out.

After her bath, we went to not one but two Big Box Pet Stores (because the first had a great deal on a water dispenser but, apparently, does not carry Miss Priss' Expensive Ass Dog Food).


Gomi is totally the most well behaved dog most of the places we go. Which is cool (for me) but kind of sad (for everyone else). This includes the three German Shephards at the Dog Washery that went completely apeshit lunging at not just Gomi but whatever other dogs came by. Um. I might be a novice, but I'm pretty sure that's seriously bad doggy manners. There were a couple of dogs at the pet stores that barked at her, too. I love that she follows my lead & just walks on past.


This is the face a Gomi makes when you skritch in just the right spot.
I went out later for a quick grocery run and, when I got home, ended up getting trapped in the van by this:




It was the kind of hard rain that makes you check twice because you're sure that's hail.

Nope.

Just rain.

I am so glad that the forecast says we're in for a break from the rain. I'm sure most of California could stand a chance to dry out.

A Dog Day Out

MonkeyDo and I are sitting in a cafe, hogging up bandwidth.

I should be listing more prints, but, instead, I've been working on some other things that I'll share with you.

Yesterday, after I was done listing for the day, she and I set off on what would be an all-day adventure.

The goal: getting Gomi vaccinated and licensed.

The plan: Sacramento SPCA has both low cost vaccinations and the ability to purchase a license (according to their website).

So we drove out to the SPCA and signed in. The office where they have vaccinations is also where they handle lost or found pets as well as owner surrenders. Dumbest place, ever, for me to be?

Oh, yeah.

We ended up waiting about 40 minutes to be seen. Gomi was pretty well behaved, all things considered. Although she did start up with the Woe Is Me song a couple of times.

While we were waiting, we watched a pair of upstanding young gentleman (*ahem*) surrender a gorgeous pit bull who had obviously been bred. And, you know, I know it happens. I know it happens all the time. But it still makes me so angry. I wonder how much money they made off of her before abandoning her to hell and an almost certain death.

*whew*

When it was finally our turn, we found out that we could only get a license there if we paid by cash or check. Well we didn't have cash, and who has checks, anymore, anyway? We ended up just getting her vaccinations and a round of flea drops.

And a lecture from the vet tech that took her back for her shots because Gomi was wearing her Martingale collar and she was wound up and pulling. Her collar wasn't seated correctly, so, yeah, it was against her throat and choking instead of up under her jaw where it's supposed to be. The vet tech suggested we get her a sensation harness or obedience lessons (through them, of course). I informed her we, in fact, owned a sensation harness. It works great for the pulling, because Gomi flops over on her side and then refuses to move. As for the rest of it, dude, you just kept my dog waiting 40 fucking minutes in a room full of critters she wants to play with but can't and she's a little wound up. Usually she's a very good dog, her collar is seated correctly, and none of this is a problem. You want to lecture someone, why don't you try the jackholes ditching that bitch they bred?

Back in the van.

Fortunately, Sacramento County Animal Care & Regulation isn't all that far from the SPCA and they can take my check card and issue a license for my dog. They also happen to have a huge, gorgeous, freshly opened dog park.



The orange-red pillars you see in the background are the fence line, and the park extends to the left about the same distance. Seriously, this park is huge. Although, a note to SCACR: your boutique should carry tennis balls. Seriously. For dumbasses like me who didn't plan on going to a dog park and didn't bring anything to throw. Because I'd have totally paid $3 or $4 for a tennis ball to throw for her. I would not, however, pay $11 for the two pack of balls that would have been two small for her big mouth, anyway.

Gomi is finally vaccinated and appropriately licensed and has been run ragged at a dog park. Next stops: lunch and then a bath!

My boss has a truck that she bought largely for the purpose of transporting her dog. Gomi's after bath antics have clued me in to why this is a good idea.



I even missed most of her seat-rubbing.

Finally, finally the three of us headed home. It was a good thing, too, because I was pooped!

As of last night, the only thing separating Gomi & I from being able to participate in the Doggy Dash was getting registered. Well, ok. And being able to run 5K.

As of right now, only half of that is true: Gomi & Cheree Run a 5K.

Which means I need to get my ass in gear for the other half of that, right?

A Pocket Full of Puppy

I did something really stupid last night. I watched this movie:



And I don't mean stupid as in "how dumb was that movie?" But, let's face it: my house is still minus one Akita. And I really loved that punky little shithead.

So watching a feature length movie about a critter that moves like her and acts like her and was wee like, apparently, she was at some point was probably not the brightest idea I've ever had.

Of course, she was full grown by the time I met her and I can hardly even imagine my giant, regal princess being wee enough to tuck into a backpack.

While I'm a fierce advocate of animal rescue and generally prefer to save a homeless critter over purchasing a freshly minted one, I can't help wishing to, just once, start from fluffy, wriggly scratch.

And then, if I think about it, it really makes me mad that assholes that abandon their pets get to have the fun, fluffy, wriggly, cute part (even though I know it's not all fun & games, anyway).

Regardless, I still haven't entirely gotten to the point where I've started thinking seriously about getting a second dog. I'm still not even entirely sure that second dog will be an Akita.

For now, though, I think I'm going to just not watch movies about Akitas.

Again.

PS: How did so many A List actors end up in such a B List movie? I think this went straight to video. How does that work?

Gomi's Doppleganger?

You may not know this, but I follow the BAD RAP blog, which is probably about the dumbest thing someone like me can do.

I was so sad to read on Sunday that they had lost the fight to rehabilitate Suzie Q. I was very much smitten with that leggy pup, even if I probably would never have been able to adopt her.

But they also posted about a new dog that they rescued from Sacramento City Animal Control. Her name is Maude, and she looks kind of familiar.

Can you see it?
No?

Here, let me help you out:

Yes, I know. Of course they look similar, they're both white Bullies. Still, though! She looks like she could be Gomi's sister, doesn't she?

Dog Beach

I remember going to the ocean with my dad when I was a kid. I don't even remember who else was there, but I believe it was a family trip. We brought our dog, Bear. I think Bear was at least part Old English Sheepdog. I was just a kid, but I remember Bear being a big dog.

As do most beaches, there was a leash law on the beach we were on. We had Bear on a leash that was just a long, knotted rope. There was a point at which we'd just let Bear run. He was flying up and down the beach in complete doggy rapture.

Pretty soon a beach ranger came up to us.

He told my dad that Bear had to be on a leash. There were rules, after all.


"He's on a leash," my dad said, pointing.

"Don't you see it dragging along behind him?"

I thought about taking Gomi on this trip with us. In the end, I decided against it. I'm never sure how many places we'll be able to take her, and I just wasn't feeling like dealing with the logistics of dealing with what to do with a dog all day.

Next trip, though, she's definitely going. I guess between now & then we need to get it figured out.

Hell. Maybe next trip there will be two dogs going to the beach with us.

You never know.

The Single Dog Blues

It's a really, really good thing that I've come to terms with the fact that we're not ready to add a second dog, yet.

Even though there's still a hole in our hearts and our household from the passing of Tatiana over the summer, I know that we're just not ready.

I want to hold off on adding a second dog until our house is in order and our finances a little more stable. Until we have the ability to give two dogs the right kind of love and care and attention. We're just not there right now, and that's ok.

And it's a damn good thing that I really do know that because, sometimes, WineDog is an asshole and posts pictures like this:

Sweet William
WineDog was transporting William on one leg of his journey to the safety of a rescue organization. I know that I'm not ready for a new dog, but the picture was just so gorgeous and sometimes I'm an idiot, so I googled Northern California Doberman Rescue and ended up here.

Adoptable Pet List?

Which led to a flat search for Akitas.

Which led me to check in with Bad Rap.

And, yes, of course the first thing I did was check out their Adoptable Pet List.

And just look at this beautiful girl:

SuzieQ has her own blog!
Sometimes I feel so much like I have to rescue all the dogs that seem like they'd be a good fit for our family. When I look into those eyes and feel like that dog is "ours". It's so much work to remember that we can't take in every dog we like and that, when we're ready, the right dog really will find us.

In my heart of hearts, the lovely fantasy I have for my life, I want to live on a huge plot of land and own lots and lots of dogs. All kinds of makes and models. A riotous chorus of baying, wagging, fluffy love. At least that's how it works out in my head. I'd also be happy to live somewhere that I didn't have to worry about Gomi singing her "O Woe Is Me!" song at the buttcrack of Oh-dark-thirty. But I guess that's another matter.

And, for now, her spoiled highness has to stay an only dogchild.

Napping on mom's knee.
You can see how disappointed she is.

Ooh. I think she needs a bath today.

My Heart has Joined the Hundred

It's never a good thing when your wife tells you that you aren't going to work today.

My first impulse is to argue with her. After all, it's a work day, so I really ought to be at work.

It sucks that she's never wrong.


Our Tatiana passed away this morning, sometime in the dark hours of the night, stretched out in her favorite sleeping spot.

My heart is already heavy with missing her.

For those that will ask, she was an old girl for being a large, mostly outside dog. I could tell for the last month or two that her time with us was winding down. I was waiting for some sign from her that it was no longer fun anymore, that she no longer enjoyed her life, that she was suffering.

She was our happy, excited, goofy girl right up to the end. She spent Sunday morning racing MonkeyDo for the plums MonkeyDo was shaking out of the tree. She loved eating plums. Is that weird? Because it seems so weird. But she loved plum season, and she'd eat up any that she could get.

I feel fortunate and blessed that she lived most of her life with us, instead of that asshole that had her first. That she was never plagued with the hip problems associated with large dogs or Akitas, in particular. That she never seemed to hurt or suffer. That she did not suffer in the end, but went quietly, in her time, on her terms.

She was always the Alpha Dog, even though she sometimes let on that she didn't care either way.

I have felt so safe with her all these years. Knowing she never barked unless she had something to tell us. Knowing she always told us if there was a problem in the neighborhood. She always made sure we knew, and then she'd stop.

And the year when SweetPea stayed a few nights with her grandmother, and Tatiana slept in the room with me. On our bed. Laying on my legs. A joy in August in an unairconditioned house, let me tell you. She'd wake me up a couple of hours later to let me know that she'd had about enough of this "inside" business, and she'd like to go back out, now, thanks.

If you threw the ball for her, she'd sit at your feet and watch it go, and then look up at you like "well, that was a pretty fucking stupid thing to do".

And today we laid her to rest under the plum tree.

Damn Dog

I mentioned earlier in the week that Gomi was gimping on her back leg. Friday morning I get a panicked phone call from SweetPea, saying that Gomi had fallen out of the truck and now she wasn't acting right.

It seems that when MonkeySee put Gomi in the truck, he turned away to shut the door, and as he did, she flopped out and hit the concrete on her back. After that, she just lay there. She was unresponsive to her name and just in general.

This was the point at which I got the panicked, tearful phone call. The last time we had a critter go unresponsive it was Bellatrix, and she was dead within hours.

We took her to the vet, who did a number on that little dog's leg, until she (finally!) yelped at him. He said that it was her hip, that it was most likely sprained. He said there was the possibility of bone spurs, but that he thought a sprain was more likely. Rest, aspirin, and, if she wasn't better in about a week, then we could go the next step and get x-rays.

I had been thinking her issue was in her knee, but hearing it was a hip made her unresponsiveness earlier make so much sense. She'd have landed smack on that hip, on the concrete, about a two foot drop off the truck's seat. OUCH. I'm sure anyone who's had a sprained joint can understand how such a jolt to an injured joint is more than enough to send a body into shock. Thus explaining the unresponsiveness.

The vet we took her to was new to us. The vet at our other clinic was out all week, and they referred us to the new vet. We both liked him a lot. He had that old-school feel to him. He got down on the floor with Gomi to check her leg out, and as soon as he was done and she could get up, she ran circles into him, tail wagging for all it was worth.

When we took her back out to the lobby to check out, she took a giant crap on their floor. Then when the vet tech came out to clean it up, Gomi started barking at her. I don't know, maybe Gomi was particularly proud of that pile.

The Joys of Toddlers

Apparently, Miss Gomi got into something yesterday that she shouldn't have.

How did I find out?

Right.

About that.

About 1:30 in the morning, I got woken up by her whining in her crate in the living room. Usually this means she really needs to go potty. We haven't had this issue in awhile, so this isn't a nightly thing.

I dragged ass into the living room (I'm almost positive I got dressed first) and took her out front. Where she sat on her ass and didn't do much of anything.

So I brought her back in.

At which point I discovered that she'd had herself a bit of a mess in her crate.

Because I am a mean mean (and really fucking tired) dog mommy, I tossed her ass back in there and crawled back into bed.

In the morning, I discovered that it wasn't just a little mess.

Apparently, when Miss Gomi started having diarrhea, she was a little concerned about what was going on in her hindquarters.

So she felt the need to investigate.

By "chasing her tail".

While having diarrhea.

It was beautiful, let me assure you.

And smelly.


For those of you who might care:

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. I'm hoping to find a good fit. I'm hoping it is a good fit.