I am thieving this shamelessly from Essin' Em to share with y'all because it made me squeal with laughter in that "OHnoooooo" kind of way.
And also because blog posting has been otherwise light, and may continue to be so for a couple more days. Or not. It's always hard to tell.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Coke Bottle Answer
It turns out that I have astigmatism. Which, as the doctor explained what that does to vision, explains so much about various quirky things about my vision.
It started with him doing the right eye/left eye thing and asking me if the line moved.
Well. Yeah. Isn't it supposed to?
Because I always thought that was normal. Honest. I did. Turns out? Not so much.
My guess is that this also explains why I can never watch 3D movies with those stupid glasses. The images don't line up, so there's no 3D effect.
We talked about the last time I had an eye exam and how the doctor gave me glasses for eye fatigue, and the explanation she gave me about the point at which our vision is in focus but our eyes are relaxed. She gave me glasses to help that "relaxed" point be where my computer monitor was. Which was super, except every fucking thing else was blurry and out of focus. Great if I was literally staring at the computer all day, but my eyes roam. A lot.
He told me that these would help my overall vision and that I'd be able to wear them all the time. He also thinks this will help some with my headaches. Because my brain won't be trying to correct that wonky image it's getting. He also demonstrated what the new lenses will do and the difference was, like, whoa. My eyesight isn't even that bad, it's just the astigmatism causing the wonkiness that's screwing me up.
These are the frames I picked out:
I'd have taken snaps with them on, except that I couldn't see shit and the office staff was right there. Also? Picking out frames with dilated eyes is Not Exciting.
Freaky
As for my prescription, I said I only needed the spherical number. My right eye, it turns out, is worse than my left eye.
So:
OD: +.25 -1.00 Axis 081
OS: Plano -0.50 Axis 105
So, what? My left eye is more crooked? I dunno. But I can't wait to be able to see correctly!
w00t!
(7 - 10 days, they're texting me when they come in.. ha ha!)
PS: does anyone have any experience getting glasses through online stores like this one? Would love to know your thoughts! WAY cheaper than even with insurance!
It started with him doing the right eye/left eye thing and asking me if the line moved.
Well. Yeah. Isn't it supposed to?
Because I always thought that was normal. Honest. I did. Turns out? Not so much.
My guess is that this also explains why I can never watch 3D movies with those stupid glasses. The images don't line up, so there's no 3D effect.
We talked about the last time I had an eye exam and how the doctor gave me glasses for eye fatigue, and the explanation she gave me about the point at which our vision is in focus but our eyes are relaxed. She gave me glasses to help that "relaxed" point be where my computer monitor was. Which was super, except every fucking thing else was blurry and out of focus. Great if I was literally staring at the computer all day, but my eyes roam. A lot.
He told me that these would help my overall vision and that I'd be able to wear them all the time. He also thinks this will help some with my headaches. Because my brain won't be trying to correct that wonky image it's getting. He also demonstrated what the new lenses will do and the difference was, like, whoa. My eyesight isn't even that bad, it's just the astigmatism causing the wonkiness that's screwing me up.
These are the frames I picked out:
I'd have taken snaps with them on, except that I couldn't see shit and the office staff was right there. Also? Picking out frames with dilated eyes is Not Exciting. As for my prescription, I said I only needed the spherical number. My right eye, it turns out, is worse than my left eye.
So:
OD: +.25 -1.00 Axis 081
OS: Plano -0.50 Axis 105
So, what? My left eye is more crooked? I dunno. But I can't wait to be able to see correctly!
w00t!
(7 - 10 days, they're texting me when they come in.. ha ha!)
PS: does anyone have any experience getting glasses through online stores like this one? Would love to know your thoughts! WAY cheaper than even with insurance!
Friday, December 04, 2009
Coke Bottle Contest
This morning I'm going to my very first eye exam in something like 8 years.
I know, right?
The reasons I decided to make the appointment are:
1. Night driving has become downright painful. Headlights are painful and create a wall of glare for me, which, you know, makes my irritation with them seem suddenly so much like it should have been a red flag.
2. I've had to make my monitor at work on the "super big" setting because it just hurt too much to read those tiny little letters.
3. Headaches are not new for me, but I'm putting this down here because of all that tiny little letter reading.
My guess is that I'm going home today with a prescription for glasses.
Because I love this kind of thing, I've decided to open a betting pool about what my prescription is going to be. I've given you your clues. If you are not familiar with vision correction prescriptions, you can read a really good primer here.
What I'm looking for is the first part of the prescription, the "spherical" number, but you can get as detailed as you'd like. Or, if you think I'm not getting a prescription, you can put that as your answer.
Have fun!
Thefunniest closest answer gets the print of their choice from Busted Knuckle Photography - in your choice of size.
Contest will run through tomorrow morning at 5:30am, when I post the actual prescription. Winner will be announced tomorrow afternoon.
I know, right?
The reasons I decided to make the appointment are:
1. Night driving has become downright painful. Headlights are painful and create a wall of glare for me, which, you know, makes my irritation with them seem suddenly so much like it should have been a red flag.
2. I've had to make my monitor at work on the "super big" setting because it just hurt too much to read those tiny little letters.
3. Headaches are not new for me, but I'm putting this down here because of all that tiny little letter reading.
My guess is that I'm going home today with a prescription for glasses.
Because I love this kind of thing, I've decided to open a betting pool about what my prescription is going to be. I've given you your clues. If you are not familiar with vision correction prescriptions, you can read a really good primer here.
What I'm looking for is the first part of the prescription, the "spherical" number, but you can get as detailed as you'd like. Or, if you think I'm not getting a prescription, you can put that as your answer.
Have fun!
The
Contest will run through tomorrow morning at 5:30am, when I post the actual prescription. Winner will be announced tomorrow afternoon.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Medical Vanity
Lashisse from Molly Sims
This Latisse spoof is brought to you by Funny or Die.
It's hysterical, right? But Latisse really is serious business with real, dangerous side effects.
Have we not learned any lessons about the dangers of medical cosmetic vanity? (Stupid question?)
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
How You Find Me
Because I love you (and I'm perplexed and vaguely alarmed), here's a list of recent keyword activity that's gotten visitors here (in no apparent order):
1. "let's go out to the kitchen and have ourselves a snack" - Looking for this?
2. "can you use an eyelet to stretch your piercing" - Short answer? NO. Related searches: "thin lobe stretch" and "im stretching my lobes and i have a fat spot". Somewhat related search: "ear pointing" (which is, by the way, still on my list of Things to Do).
3. I knew something like this would happen because of this post (and I hope all you pervs learned something new): "breasts'farm girl'"; "fan of breasts" (and, really, who isn't?); "weighlifter boobs" (wtf?); "pay to touch breasts"; "may I please touch your breasts"
4. There's always loads of searches relating to working for the state of California, particularly furloughs, exemptions and the govahnator. Maybe I should write some more posts about that?
5. "im ticklish pedicure" (don't forget to warn her beforehand!) and "what if i shaved 14 hours prior to pedicure"(I think you're fine).
6. And the most common single search item is "gudonyatoo". I wonder if I should ask for a kick back?
1. "let's go out to the kitchen and have ourselves a snack" - Looking for this?
2. "can you use an eyelet to stretch your piercing" - Short answer? NO. Related searches: "thin lobe stretch" and "im stretching my lobes and i have a fat spot". Somewhat related search: "ear pointing" (which is, by the way, still on my list of Things to Do).
3. I knew something like this would happen because of this post (and I hope all you pervs learned something new): "breasts'farm girl'"; "fan of breasts" (and, really, who isn't?); "weighlifter boobs" (wtf?); "pay to touch breasts"; "may I please touch your breasts"
4. There's always loads of searches relating to working for the state of California, particularly furloughs, exemptions and the govahnator. Maybe I should write some more posts about that?
5. "im ticklish pedicure" (don't forget to warn her beforehand!) and "what if i shaved 14 hours prior to pedicure"(I think you're fine).
6. And the most common single search item is "gudonyatoo". I wonder if I should ask for a kick back?
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