The song stuck in my head tonight:
Meanwhile I'm working on figuring out whether or not I have to turn down an opportunity I've been hoping for because that timing isn't great. I'm trying very hard to hang on to my "pushing forward" and not freak out totally. We'll see how it goes and, hopefully, I'll have a nice story to share with you soon!
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
It's About Marriage
What I find most amusing is that the post Tinacious wrote today started as a blog comment that got too long and then I went to comment to that post, and, well... There's a reason this is The Verbosery.
Enjoy!
SweetPea and I are registered domestic partners and have been for almost four years. WTF does that mean? Fuck if I know. I know that it means my employer can CHOOSE to allow me to put her on my health plan. Which, then, because she's not (federally recognized as) my wife, means that the money my employer pays to insure her counts as INCOME that I've received. If she were federally recognized as my wife, I wouldn't have to pay taxes on that. But because she's not, I do.
It means that we have a (very small) portion of the rights afforded to people who are legally married. It means I've got a copy of the registration with me at all times because NONE of the rights we're afforded by the registration count unless I can PROVE IT.
We were married in a spiritual, non-legal ceremony in 2002. We were married in the eyes of California law on June 17, 2008.
You tell someone you were "registered domestic partnered" or "civil unioned" and they look at you like you're batshit. But you can tell any ignoramus "I got married" and they KNOW what you're talking about.
There is a respect with that. An understanding. They KNOW what you're talking about, and they KNOW what that means. They GET what kind of commitment you're talking about, that you're talking about "this is it, forever, blending lives, building families".
I think the problem that people have with letting us have the term "marriage" is exactly that. It means granting us the respect and understanding of the solemnity of the commitment we, as a couple, are making to each other. They can't stand the thought that two women or two men might possibly be capable of the same kind of love, commitment and respect that they are.
(OMFG, talk about an out of control comment!)
Do I think we need to fight for the term "marriage"?
Damn right, I do.
We deserve it! "Marriage" is not (solely) a religious institution, and so long as America has no state-dictated religion, then I damn sure better have all the rights as any straight, white Catholic (although I'll leave to baby-banging to the Catholics).
SweetPea and I were discussing this before the Court decision came down last year in California. Neither of us is the "gold band and diamonds" type, but I'd been thinking and I'd decided that, when we finally got the right to marry, I wanted the gold band, I wanted her last name, I wanted the legal term "marriage/married/wife".
I want it all.
So. Yeah.
And I understand how some people can say maybe we should just strike the term altogether, but marriage has been around for, literally, thousands of years, and there's no reason we shouldn't have it, too.
*hands back soap box*
Enjoy!
SweetPea and I are registered domestic partners and have been for almost four years. WTF does that mean? Fuck if I know. I know that it means my employer can CHOOSE to allow me to put her on my health plan. Which, then, because she's not (federally recognized as) my wife, means that the money my employer pays to insure her counts as INCOME that I've received. If she were federally recognized as my wife, I wouldn't have to pay taxes on that. But because she's not, I do.
It means that we have a (very small) portion of the rights afforded to people who are legally married. It means I've got a copy of the registration with me at all times because NONE of the rights we're afforded by the registration count unless I can PROVE IT.
We were married in a spiritual, non-legal ceremony in 2002. We were married in the eyes of California law on June 17, 2008.
You tell someone you were "registered domestic partnered" or "civil unioned" and they look at you like you're batshit. But you can tell any ignoramus "I got married" and they KNOW what you're talking about.
There is a respect with that. An understanding. They KNOW what you're talking about, and they KNOW what that means. They GET what kind of commitment you're talking about, that you're talking about "this is it, forever, blending lives, building families".
I think the problem that people have with letting us have the term "marriage" is exactly that. It means granting us the respect and understanding of the solemnity of the commitment we, as a couple, are making to each other. They can't stand the thought that two women or two men might possibly be capable of the same kind of love, commitment and respect that they are.
(OMFG, talk about an out of control comment!)
Do I think we need to fight for the term "marriage"?
Damn right, I do.
We deserve it! "Marriage" is not (solely) a religious institution, and so long as America has no state-dictated religion, then I damn sure better have all the rights as any straight, white Catholic (although I'll leave to baby-banging to the Catholics).
SweetPea and I were discussing this before the Court decision came down last year in California. Neither of us is the "gold band and diamonds" type, but I'd been thinking and I'd decided that, when we finally got the right to marry, I wanted the gold band, I wanted her last name, I wanted the legal term "marriage/married/wife".
I want it all.
So. Yeah.
And I understand how some people can say maybe we should just strike the term altogether, but marriage has been around for, literally, thousands of years, and there's no reason we shouldn't have it, too.
*hands back soap box*
Thursday, November 05, 2009
November Heartbreak
I don't even know what to say about Tuesday's night's loss in Maine. It is maddening and disheartening and frustrating and heartbreaking and enraging. It is a vicious flashback to last year.
We should not have to fight for our rights like this. Piecemeal from state to state. Begging for the crumbs of equality. Did we not just sign a federal law granting us all protection from hate crimes based on, among other things, our sexual orientation?
Yet the states and federal government seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to continue to legislate hate on a large scale.
I don't know. I think this is why I try not to get too involved with politics. The ignorance, hypocrisy and idiocy make me crazy.
Instead of attempting to articulate my rage, frustration and heartbreak, I'm just going to direct you elsewhere.
Dawn: I have a lot of love for Dawn, and it breaks my fucking heart that, after all the work she & Laura put into fighting this, the damn thing passed, anyway.
Maura Hennessy who has said what I've felt for quite some time now.
Wine Dog: There's this woman that I work with who has this way of talking to certain people. You know, the ones who call in trying to get away with something? And she gets this tone and she talks to them just like a mom scolding a kid for being a dumbass and totally gets away with it, because she's actually super nice, way helpful and really knows her stuff. Which is kind of what Wine Dog reminds me of when she gets going on a good rant. It's the kind of scolding that would make anyone with an iota of intelligence or self-respect ashamed of themselves. And that's my kind of rant.
PS: And I'm also heartbroken by the news out of Fort Hood. My heart goes out to all of the families affected by the tragedy. All of the families.
We should not have to fight for our rights like this. Piecemeal from state to state. Begging for the crumbs of equality. Did we not just sign a federal law granting us all protection from hate crimes based on, among other things, our sexual orientation?
Yet the states and federal government seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to continue to legislate hate on a large scale.
I don't know. I think this is why I try not to get too involved with politics. The ignorance, hypocrisy and idiocy make me crazy.
Instead of attempting to articulate my rage, frustration and heartbreak, I'm just going to direct you elsewhere.
Dawn: I have a lot of love for Dawn, and it breaks my fucking heart that, after all the work she & Laura put into fighting this, the damn thing passed, anyway.
Maura Hennessy who has said what I've felt for quite some time now.
Wine Dog: There's this woman that I work with who has this way of talking to certain people. You know, the ones who call in trying to get away with something? And she gets this tone and she talks to them just like a mom scolding a kid for being a dumbass and totally gets away with it, because she's actually super nice, way helpful and really knows her stuff. Which is kind of what Wine Dog reminds me of when she gets going on a good rant. It's the kind of scolding that would make anyone with an iota of intelligence or self-respect ashamed of themselves. And that's my kind of rant.
PS: And I'm also heartbroken by the news out of Fort Hood. My heart goes out to all of the families affected by the tragedy. All of the families.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Wishcasting Wednesday - Experience
Today's prompt: What do you wish to experience?
Today I wish to experience a world where every person enjoys the same rights, responsibilities and protections as the next person. Where no person lives in fear because of who they love, how they identify or what's between their legs.
Today I wish to experience a world where every person enjoys the same rights, responsibilities and protections as the next person. Where no person lives in fear because of who they love, how they identify or what's between their legs.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Catsup & Flavored Quarks*
Ooh, look! Did you know I had a blog?
Um.
Right.
I know, I know! There's so much I have to tell you, and I really do need to get on that, and I've totally been slacking and I'm sorry.
*whew*
Right now I'm obsessively refreshing poll results to see if Maine gets to keep same sex marriage and if Washington gets "just like but not exactly" marriage rights for registered domestic partnerships (whether same sex or just over 65).
Sadly, it doesn't look good for either state.
In more personal news, SweetPea has caught the Creeping Crud. I was worried today that it might be the actual H1N1 because she had some, uh, gastrointestinal issues this morning. But that seems to have settled down, and I'm hoping she's just got a regular cold or flu. Which is probably totally my fault, since I'm sure I brought the germs home from Oakland.
I am not thrilled with the direction that my feelings about work have taken. I'm not really going to get into details. Suffice it to say that some things will have to change, one way or another.
In other news, Christmas is fast approaching - as is a holiday buying (and selling) season that I've suddenly realized I'm ill-prepared for. Oopsie! I had to make some decisions regarding what to work on for listing and what not to bother with. I'm trying to remain within the capacity of supplies I currently have on hand, but I will be placing one or two small orders.
I plan on listing scrubs and balms, as well as a couple of "origami" scrapbooks, glass pendants, and some new hair jewelry and earrings. I'm kind of excited, but there's a lot of work ahead of me that I need to get started on soon. Which is a little hard when your wife is sick and it throws everything out of whack.
Like I said, I've got loads of things planned for you, including a tutorial-plus-giveaway, a follow up to the lobe stretching primer, and probably at least one good ramble about one thing or another.
Tonight, though, I'll leave you with this:
This pup was left in his crate, in the back, with the hatch up, while his owners were off doing who knows what. He was there for at least 20 minutes that I know of. He was in the shade, and, certainly, had plenty of fresh air, temperature was pleasant and he didn't seem to be in distress (other than boredom and loneliness)...
So what do you think? Is it ok that pup was left like this while his owners went off (I'm assuming to dinner)?
Personally, I always endeavor to not bring dogs places where they're not allowed, and I haven't often been in situations where I've had to figure it out. I guess that's a pretty good system, but it does make me wonder why pup couldn't have just stayed home.
(Sacramento County is definitely not as dog-friendly - overall - as some other areas are... There aren't many places you can go to eat with your pup...)
*With SweetPea down, most of MonkeySee's chatting has been directed at me. That manchild can talk a blue streak, letmetellyou. Did you know there are flavored quarks? And the flavor names are colors? I told him that the Farmer's Market Cheese Ladies would disagree... Quarks come in flavors like vanilla and lemon and pumpkin spice. I'm not entirely sure he found this amusing.
Um.
Right.
I know, I know! There's so much I have to tell you, and I really do need to get on that, and I've totally been slacking and I'm sorry.
*whew*
Right now I'm obsessively refreshing poll results to see if Maine gets to keep same sex marriage and if Washington gets "just like but not exactly" marriage rights for registered domestic partnerships (whether same sex or just over 65).
Sadly, it doesn't look good for either state.
In more personal news, SweetPea has caught the Creeping Crud. I was worried today that it might be the actual H1N1 because she had some, uh, gastrointestinal issues this morning. But that seems to have settled down, and I'm hoping she's just got a regular cold or flu. Which is probably totally my fault, since I'm sure I brought the germs home from Oakland.
I am not thrilled with the direction that my feelings about work have taken. I'm not really going to get into details. Suffice it to say that some things will have to change, one way or another.
In other news, Christmas is fast approaching - as is a holiday buying (and selling) season that I've suddenly realized I'm ill-prepared for. Oopsie! I had to make some decisions regarding what to work on for listing and what not to bother with. I'm trying to remain within the capacity of supplies I currently have on hand, but I will be placing one or two small orders.
I plan on listing scrubs and balms, as well as a couple of "origami" scrapbooks, glass pendants, and some new hair jewelry and earrings. I'm kind of excited, but there's a lot of work ahead of me that I need to get started on soon. Which is a little hard when your wife is sick and it throws everything out of whack.
Like I said, I've got loads of things planned for you, including a tutorial-plus-giveaway, a follow up to the lobe stretching primer, and probably at least one good ramble about one thing or another.
Tonight, though, I'll leave you with this:
This pup was left in his crate, in the back, with the hatch up, while his owners were off doing who knows what. He was there for at least 20 minutes that I know of. He was in the shade, and, certainly, had plenty of fresh air, temperature was pleasant and he didn't seem to be in distress (other than boredom and loneliness)...So what do you think? Is it ok that pup was left like this while his owners went off (I'm assuming to dinner)?
Personally, I always endeavor to not bring dogs places where they're not allowed, and I haven't often been in situations where I've had to figure it out. I guess that's a pretty good system, but it does make me wonder why pup couldn't have just stayed home.
(Sacramento County is definitely not as dog-friendly - overall - as some other areas are... There aren't many places you can go to eat with your pup...)
*With SweetPea down, most of MonkeySee's chatting has been directed at me. That manchild can talk a blue streak, letmetellyou. Did you know there are flavored quarks? And the flavor names are colors? I told him that the Farmer's Market Cheese Ladies would disagree... Quarks come in flavors like vanilla and lemon and pumpkin spice. I'm not entirely sure he found this amusing.
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