Did It and Pictures

I can't believe MonkeySee is already gearing up for his senior year of high school.

I keep doing the math, but this can't possibly be right. At the same time, I kind of can't wait for the adventure that's going to unfold for him. Senior year is kind of awesome.

And it's going to suck. Mostly for me.

Taking inspiration from the inspirational, I read one of my poems at the last Midtown Out Loud:

The Monkeys went with me to a Summer Soiree and indulged me in a ridiculous amount of Pool Antics Photography.

Totally my favorite.

Here's MonkeyDo wrangling both dogs after their baths this past weekend.

Here's a pro-tip if you own more than one dog: you can totally wash more than one dog in the 25 minutes a dog wash token gives you. Unless one of those dogs is Gomi and you spend a ginormous chunk of time getting all the crud out and attempting to return her to her beautifully white (not yellow) glory.

Eventually you give up, but you still have to ask the staff for more time because that dog takes forever to dry.

Cover Your K9 Fundraiser - This Weekend!

I'd been off track for the last week or more, so, when I got up Sunday (and didn't go do my normal Sunday morning routine), I decided some cleaning was in order.

Unfortunately for the dogs, I started with them.

Bixby has turned into a pretty good bather. Right up until it's time to start drying off, then he wants me to hold his hand.

The bonus, though, was that I found out about a fundraiser coming up this weekend - the Save a K9 Fundraiser!

June 30th and July 1st (Saturday and Sunday), 100% of the cost of each dog wash goes to support a non-profit organization called Cover Your K9, which helps "provide customized bullet-proof vests, heat alarms for patrol cars, K-9 first aid kits and other specialized equipment to keep our hardworking police dogs protected while they are at work protecting us."

Cover Your K9 is working to keep the police dogs of northern California safer while on patrol, and that's definitely a cause I can get behind. If you're local, you're probably familiar with Bodie's story. He was shot in the line of duty at the end of May. While a bulletproof vest probably wouldn't have helped Bodie, who was shot in the leg and the jaw, Bodie's case makes this fundraiser particularly timely.

Pet Food Express also happens to be one of my favorite places to take the dogs for a bath. When you have strong, ornery dogs that really dislike being washed or blown dry, the Pet Food Express setup is really ideal. It's sturdy and everything is one place, so you don't have to manuever your dog to another table for the blow dryer. Most of the time, I don't even get them out of the wash basin when I dry them, because I don't have to and it's just easier.

All 43 northern California Pet Food Express locations are participating in the fundraiser and the funds stay local, helping your local police dogs. So come on out. You know your dog is stinky.

Dogs by the Sea

On Saturday - my first free Saturday in six weeks! - we took both dogs to Bodega Bay.

They were pretty excited.

After lunch, I had the brilliant idea to take a photo of Bixby & Gomi together with the ocean in the background.

This is possibly more complicated than it seems like it should be.

While the dogs were mostly well behaved during the trip, one of them counter surfed the top half of my sandwich. Because clearly I am out of practice with having food in the open around dogs.

After scolding Bixby (of course it was Bixby) and retreiving the parts he stole, I gave them to Gomi.

Who refused to eat them.

Success! Kind of.

All things considered, it was a pretty good day. I hope the dogs had fun. Since they were mostly well behaved, I see more outings in our future.

I have to say that it's kind of nice to finally be able to take Bixby some places without him acting like a total asshole.

Dog parks are definitely still on the "not even kind of" list.

Oh, well.

A Bixby Weekend

My dog sure is handsome. Here he poses with Crate #5. Yes. Number 5. Notice it's been reinforced with zipties. Notice, also, that there are no ribs to be seen on my shiny dog. Although it may be a trick of the pose, he is certainly much fatter and glossier now than he was a year ago.

Somewhere along the way, he learned what the ice cream truck is. Saturday afternoon, he went positively apeshit when it came rolling up our street. Fortunately I had doggy ice cream cups leftover in the freezer. I wonder if the family that abandoned him fed him off the ice cream truck, or if a kind ice cream truck driver fed him. I don't know. But I suspect we'll be going through a lot of doggy ice cream this summer.

Maybe I should warn the ice cream truck driver to stock up?

Sunday we swapped out his crate and then took him & Gomi for baths. In the crazy ass Fountains parking lot, this involved quite a walk. I bought the "buy three, get one free" deal at Pet Food Express and, on a tip from the clerk, got both dogs washed using only one token. This is amazing, because the dogs go for baths pretty regularly when it's warm.

After our adventure, Bixby was given a big, meaty bone to chew on in his spanky new crate (with the temporarily whole crate pad).

Later that night, I passed his crate on my way out to the van and he was laying there perfectly still, with his wide open. I called to him and he didn't respond. Naturally, I assumed he was dead. On the third try, though, he blinked and snapped his head up at me.

Holy shit.

Chuck Norris Dog was sleeping.

Will wonders never cease?

PS: Tomorrow we'll talk about the adventure Gomi had at my trail race. And maybe about the adventure I had there, too.

Bixby Goes to Wendy's

Bixby is a lot more hopeful (and pushy) because he's been to this drive through before (*ahem*SweetPea*ahem*).

SweetPea got him nuggets, but Mom's is infinitely more interesting.

Finally!

The good shit!

And then we had to have a freak out barking at another dog. In another vehicle. Um. 'Kay.

Totally Random Tuesday

In case you were wondering why I've pretty much stopped selling things on etsy, here's a pretty good summation of why. And because I just don't have the time to maintain all the crazy crap that "successful etsians" suggest for promoting your shop. And then, of course, there are the "successful etsians" who are all "I don't do all that crap, my shop just took off. Woo!" And I just don't have enough friends, family & blog followers to really make my shop successful.

Surprisingly.

It also doesn't help that this shit actually sold. That's right. Two dozen #2 pencils sold for $15 plus $10 shipping. Hey, for $6.58, you can get 24 Ticonderoga pre-sharpened #2 pencils. Does anyone else have an inexplicable attachment to pencils that look like this? Just me? Moving on.

As my dad says, some people have more money than sense. Which doesn't explain why they wouldn't buy my stuff. I guess that's because I don't have time to relist items all day long and post constantly to the forums and to comment on random blog posts.

What am I doing instead, you might ask? Um. No idea.

But I did donate a print _{of SweetPea's} to the Gender Bender Ball's Art Auction. Other than that, I really have no idea and I'm kind of focusing on my word art and, also, That One Art Project That Will Probably Involve a Blow Torch.

Who just called their Insurance Guy to ask about fire insurance?

In totally unrelated news, have you ever wondered what Bixby the Wonder Freak sounds like in Real Life? This is totally your luck day. Here's a video of my Main Man losing his shit over a squirrel at the park. Go ahead and crank the sound. You know you want to.



This is a pretty typical reaction to squirrels. Also cats, birds, dogs on leashes and people who might look like they want to give him a treat. Not all the time. He's honestly not quite that bad. But when he does wig out? This is what it looks like.

This is why you never get to go anywhere fun, Bixby.

Ok, fine. You really can't hear one without hearing the other. So here's Miss Gomi, a.k.a. "Gome-slice", singing.



Do y'all have any idea how many times I've tried to get you a video of that?

Finally, randomly, this almost kind of funny video demonstrates how cult-like disciples of specific workout regimes can be.



Not that I haven't totally sounded like this about yoga or anything.

*ahem*

One more? OK. I totally snaked this from Drunk Cyclist because it cracked me the fuck up. I love how excited everyone gets when a rider takes something.

Tour of Utah - Queen Stage - Wacky Food Hand Ups from Roots Culture Connect on Vimeo.

A Weekend of Dogs

On Friday nights Bixby goes to Obedience Class. As a special treat last Friday, SweetPea came with us. Because Mr. Bixby can't be trusted not to chew his way through my van, I sat in the back with him while SweetPea drove.


Here he is acting sullen because I won't let him lick me. Yes. I love dogs and hate doggy kisses. Come on! He eats poop for fuck's sake! I really don't want poop slobber on me. Thanks.

Saturday morning, Bixby and I went for a walk, and then we got coffee and gas.


Here he's "helping" me at the gas station by playing "find the treats" while I pump gas. Isn't he considerate?

Afterwards, we went to the vet's office where we got a proper weighing (up 11 pounds since early March!), had blood drawn and then lost our shit barking at some quiet dog who was attempting to mind his own beeswax. Why? Because my dog is an asshole, that's why.


When we were all done at the vet's office, I absofuckinglutely did not take his schizoid ass to Pet-a-palooza.

Instead, I went home and swapped dogs. Of course, the fun part about owning a white dog is how frequently she's not white at all.


First stop? Bath time! This time around, Mud to Suds got the nod. Because they're closest. And not on the "Yeah But No" list. Bonus that they have whitening shampoo and whip it up on the spot for you. They gave us a pretty big bottle of it, which was great, because Gomi was super grody and I used it all up.

And then she was pretty! Yay!

Then it was off to Pet-a-palooza which was pretty packed. I think they did a pretty good job keeping traffic and parking moving, considering there really isn't enough parking at Rusch Park. We didn't stay that long because it was super crowded, I didn't find the vendors particularly interesting and Gomi seems to have completely forgotten how to walk on a leash. And by that I mean "don't trip mom, dumbass". Basically, it got old quick.

And then some dumb bitch's unaltered French bulldog picked a fight with Gomi and I was pretty much over the experience.

I don't think I will ever understand people who feel like it's acceptable to bring antisocial dogs to dog places. Then again, I don't understand people who don't alter their pets. But don't worry! She also had a female French bulldog who was probably not altered, either. Surely she's a "responsible"* breeder.


Gomi had a pretty good time and was one pooped pup by the time we got back to the van.

In related news, I got the call yesterday that Mr. Bixby does still need to take his thyroid meds. Pooh. But I'm still pretty happy that he's otherwise so healthy.

*Here, "responsible" is being used sarcastically to indicate someone who probably has no clue what they're doing but enjoys charging fat fees for sub-par puppies. $10 says one or both parents ends up at the pound inside two years.

Our Newest Addition - Details

He's a boy. I believe about a year and a half old. He was pulled from a shelter in Riverside, California by an amazing woman who does her level best to make sure no Doberman dies for want of a home in southern California. He was significantly underweight.


This is what he looked like.

This is what he looked like last night. He's still too skinny.

He loves his Monkeys.
I had forgotten what a painful learning curve first nights are. I don't know how I always seem to forget how much of an adjustment it is when you bring someone new home. I'm tired.

It's way too soon to know for sure what life will be like with our newest addition. He's, so far, sweet and loving and responsive and energetic and loud. He's my first Doberman. My first impression of life with Dobie is that it seems like what I'd imagine it would be like to have a loud, angry deer on a leash.


Aww! He's such a good boy! When he's sleeping.
But I'm really excited for that moment when, once again, I forget what it's like to bring a brand new someone home and, instead, have two awesome dogs that I love to hang out with.

PS: His name is Bixby.

Another Pit Bull Tragedy

I don't have a lot to say about this that hasn't already been said better.

I'm not sure that anyone here doesn't know that we at the Verbosery are big fans of square headed dogs. So much so that we own one.


I can't even think of some stranger putting their knee in her back without getting a little irrationally angry.


If you've never known a pit bull raised by responsible, loving dog owners, you are truly missing out. I don't think there exists a more goofy, blissful, loving dog than a pit bull.


If you don't know about Gomi, you surely haven't heard about Moko. Moko is a service dog. Moko's dogmommy is paraplegic. Moko helps her get around so she can live her life independently. The way she always has.


Pit bulls are working dogs. They're smart, capable and have been bred for generations* to be people friendly.

What happened to Parrot was tragic and inexcusable.

I wish more people would wake up. Parrot's execution is not even an isolated incident. Merely the most recent.

Wake up, America.

These dogs are your dogs, too.



Godspeed, Parrot.



*Even the fighting dogs.