Race for the STARS

In running news*, I've signed up to run the Race for the STARS, which benefits the Monkeys' school district. It looks like it will a fun evening race with a festival afterwards. If you're in the Sacramento area and can, it would be super if you signed up to run (or walk!), too. Or if you donated or became a "virtual" runner.

I'm sure our district is not the only one suffering from budget cuts in this economy, and this is one way we can help them out directly and immediately.

It breaks my heart to listen to the Monkeys talk about which of their teachers got pink slips this year. I'm running for a district where pink slips are unnecessary.

What do you run for?

*There isn't a lot of other running news going on. Excepting that, for the second year in a row, I may DNS (did not start) the Parkway Half. Yoga Teacher Training has been kicking my ass so thoroughly I have not been getting the appropriate training in. I'm attempting one last long run Monday and then making a final decision. Regardless of my decision, I do intend to run the TBF Racing XTreme Run on April 29th, and then probably not much else until late summer.

Lost Trail 5K - A Race Report

Remember that time I said I'd tell you all about Gomi's adventure at my trail race over the weekend? And remember all those other times I said I'd talk about something later and then totally didn't? This is so not like any of those times, because here's the post! It's like I'm on my game or something...

On Saturday I was scheduled to run the Lost Trail 5K. Originally, I registered for the half marathon. However, given my almost complete lack of training since my last half marathon, I contacted the organizers and asked to be moved to the 5K. Because I'm only so crazy.

Because I'd contacted the organizers in advance about my race chance request, when I showed up Saturday morning for packet pickup, they had to change me to the correct race. Fortunately, TBF Racing staff are really adept at quick changes, so it took mere moments for me to have the correct bib.

I milled around for a bit and then headed over to the port-a-potties just in time to catch the start of the half marathon:

I milled around some more and then, when I heard the ten minute warning announced, I had SweetPea pin on my bib, gathered my stuff and headed towards the port-a-potties again. I was somewhat concerned by the sudden distinct lack of runners milling about, and then someone saw me and told me the 5K had already started.

That's right.

I missed the start of the race.

On the plus side, it's not like I'm fast enough to have placed, anyway.

On the even more plus side, even though I missed the start, I didn't even come in last!

Uh huh, that's right.

I also checked the results, and, even if I had started on time, I probably would have come in the same place (just a couple minutes before). Personally, I think that's pretty impressive.

More than that, though, it was a good race and I had fun. It was challenging, but not in the "this sucks, I hurt, the fuck was I thinking" way that other races have. I listened to music for awhile, but, when the course transitioned to the single track trails, I stopped listening to music so that I could hear if a cyclist or other runner was coming up behind me.

When I saw the sign that said "Mile 13" (the half marathon course had, obviously, merged with the 5K course at this point), I was kind of excited. Already? I still had so much left in the tank!

I'm really glad I ran this and that I did it as a 5K. I was definitely unprepared for a half marathon, but instead of skipping entirely, I went out and had a good time.

While I was out running, SweetPea took Gomi down to the lake bed. We've had a really dry winter, so there's a lot of lake bed to hike on (check out this ride report for some awesome photos of the area). SweetPea let Gomi run off leash and took her all the way down to the water. Neither of them are big fans of going in, but Gomi had herself a nice drink before they headed back to the car to wait for me.

They started the awards ceremony a few minutes after I was done, and I totally randomly won a raffle prize:

Pretty awesome, right? I haven't tried it out, yet, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunity to.

This is my official race photo from James Pratt Photography. Because I missed the race start, he was totally unprepared that I was still on my way to where he was set up, so he was all packed up when I came over the hill. He took off on his bike to get down the course so that he could make sure to get my picture. He was cheering and cracking jokes the whole time. He is probably my favorite local race photographer and, yes, I bought the digital file of this photo.

Last but not least, here's Gomi, who seemed mostly underwhelmed by the whole day. Don't worry, though! She was even less whelmed by her bath the next day!

Urban Cow Half Marathon Race Report Part Two - The Actual Race Report

We have a perpetual whiteboard calendar on the wall in the bathroom. For over a month that damn thing had "Urban Cow 1/2 Mary" written on it in red. It seemed like some abstract future event until suddenly it was this week.

Before I knew it, packet pick up day had arrived, followed by "prep" day. I spent most of Saturday afternoon mentally putting together my game plan for Sunday morning and making sure I had everything ready that I would need. I also got kind of worried because it seemed pretty easy and that's just never a good sign. Usually it means I've forgotten something really important. Like that time I tried to leave for my long run wearing flip flops.

Amazingly, I did manage to bring everything that I would need* and we got to the event and parked without significant problems (other than the previously mentioned absolute jackasses).

The race got started relatively smoothly. Within a few minutes, we'd all cleared to the starting line and were off and running. The first couple of miles of any long run, for me, are kind of painful, and this was no exception. By the time I hit the mile three marker, I couldn't believe I'd only run three miles and whose dumb ass idea was this, anyway? I hung on and was able to find my groove around mile four, when I started passing people.

I know, right?

The first person I passed was a woman who was run/walking and, apparently, using me as her marker. Whenever I caught up with her, she'd take off running. Trouble was she didn't really get very far before she had to start walking again. She annoyed the crap out of me, so I used the first chance I could to put more distance between us.

I'm so used to being slow that it always amazes me to realize that I have it in me to push past this runner, around that group, to power up that hill instead of just slogging along. Possibly the best thing races like this do for me is open my brain up to the possibility that I'm faster and stronger than I think I am, and that I'm capable of being faster and stronger, even, than that.

By mile six I was feeling strong and fast (you know.. for me). I was powering up hills** and still catching and passing people.

You want to know something amazing? When you're slow as fuck, hitting the next mile marker takes forever.

I got through the halfway point relay exchange, passing through all the folks who ran the first leg of the relay, wandering around with their finisher's medals. Jerks. Then a long stretch of levee road before dropping into Miller Park for a photo op, aid station and turn around.

I don't think I look it, yet, but by the mile ten marker I was pretty done. I had started tweeting each mile marker as I passed it, but skipped the nine mile marker because I was so mad it wasn't the ten mile marker. Like I said, it takes a long time to get to each marker when you're slow, and sometimes it seems like it's been so long maybe they didn't put that one out, or maybe you missed it in the throngs of people (not). But then it turns out you just haven't gotten there, yet, and, really? What the fuck?

The stretch of mile eleven, up Riverside Blvd. had blockades and volunteers cheering at each intersection. As you wind down mile eleven, you see William Land Park coming and know that the entire rest of the race is within that park, which isn't all that big if you really think about it.

Yeah.

It's big enough to have almost a full two and a half miles left of the race within the park without having to do laps.

I spent a lot of time walking after getting back inside the park. I was ok with that. I had estimated that I would come in around 3:45 and I was pretty confident that I would not come in after the four hour cut off. I did make an effort to run most of that last half mile because, you know, that's where you're passing through all the people.

I also made sure to keep running all the way over the finish line and past the photographers.

Honest, I'm running in this photo.

After I was handed my finisher's medal I got my "red carpet" finisher's photo:

Then I proceeded to fail at finding food, free beer or my wife before grabbing a bag of ice from the first aid station, climbing into the van and heading towards actual food and beer.

It's weird to me, that in my head I'm torn between two realities. One in which having completed a half marathon is no big deal, after all, didn't I run 16 miles the weekend before? The other where holy crap I completed a half marathon! I earned my first finisher's medal and finally have a half marathon shirt I can wear because I DID IT.

Like I said before, I was able to confirm with the organizers of the Four Bridges Half Marathon that, while they cannot guarantee aid stations will still be open after the cut off, the finish line operation (including timing and - hopefully - medal hand out) should still be going when I finally come through.

Now maybe we can chat about something other than running for five minutes.

Or not.

*Next time, I think I'm going to pack extra fluid and something to snack on for after, as well as one of those instant ice packs. Just in case post-race amenities are lacking. Again.

**Being Sacramento, we don't have hills, we have "hills".

Urban Cow Half Marathon Race Report Part One - The Bitch List

I'm just going to get this out of the way out front, because then maybe I can stop obsessing about them and get on with the important parts.

Shit that really fucking annoyed me about the Urban Cow Half Marathon:

1. The fucking unreal volume of gel wrappers littering the road. Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you expecting the Cow Fairies to flitter along behind you & pick that shit up? Look, I know you fast runners usually go out in just your underwear, or whatever, but you packed that shit with you somehow. How the fuck hard is it to put the empty back where it came from? Do you really think the people who live in the very nice neighborhoods we ran through will want us back next year after they spend the next month finding tinfoil packets? Would you?

2. The talkers. Y'all should already know that I'm slow as fuck, so it should be no surprise that the group I spend the most time with during a race is the run/walkers, the walkers and the other slow as fuck runners. I'm not going to say this is true of everyone or even most everyone, but there are certainly those in this group that really aren't working that hard. And, you know, I'm not going to judge that. It's their experience, not mine, and I would hope that they are creating their own best experience. But OMFG the talking! I'm sure this is stupid and petty, but it really annoyed me, especially when I didn't have the energy left to get far enough away from the talkers to not have to listen to it. And the one lady who was not only talking with her walking partner but making phone calls?!? SHUTIT.

3. The Beer Garden. A big deal was made about the post-race Beer Garden, with beer provided by Sudwerk Brewery and special wristbands given to race participants of drinking age to assure that they could get their post race beer. Nothing, however, mentioned that the beer was $3 a cup (although you could get a "free sample"). Um? I know this is my first time to the rodeo, but I've been to plenty of events and I can tell you that I'm pretty fucking sure that you can assume something is free if a price point isn't mentioned. The price isn't even a big deal, but because nobody said anything about having to pay for post-race amenities, I didn't bring any money. Because why would you schlep cash on a race for no apparent reason?

4. I have no idea where the post-race food was. I accept that I was tired, not entirely on my game and really ready to leave, so maybe I overlooked it. However, I asked the Monkeys, who had been tasked with checking out the vendor booths while I was running, and they said they didn't see any food, either. Just me? I don't know. Interested in playing hide & go seek with oreos & bananas after running for three and a half hours? Not even kind of.

5. Everybody behind the wheel of a moving vehicle within about 5 miles of the entire event needed a solid bitch slap. This goes out to the dude who made a u-turn around us while SweetPea was trying to make a three point turn at the end of a blocked road, all the idiots who didn't understand why the road closure signs they'd been seeing for the last few days meant that, yeah, you're not driving across this road anytime soon, and to the bicyclists using the trails even though all the entry points had signs saying the trail was closed due to the half marathon. This does not apply to you because why, again?

Oh don't tell me you've read this blog for more than five minutes and didn't think I'd have this much to say about things that annoyed me about the race. Three and a half hours is a really long time to spend finding targets for one's crankiness.

Tomorrow I'll have the real race report for you. You know. About actually running the half marathon and not about things that make me bitchy. Complete with pictures!

Half Marathoner

A year ago it was a challenge to finish a 5K.

Yesterday I finished a half marathon.

I plan to have a full "race report" coming soon. I'm kind of hoping for more pictures, first.

In related news, I contacted the folks at Four Bridges Half Marathon and was able to confirm that the road won't open up and swallow me whole if I don't get through the finish line before "course closure".

Good to know.

I can't wait!

Scheduling Changes

When I crafted my current training schedule, I really only detailed it through this weekend. The rest of the plan - through December - is mostly just roughed out. The runs are all accounted for, but timing and other cross training workouts are mostly guesses.

I knew there would be changes after this weekend, but it seems like there are going to be more changes than I anticipated.

For example, I knew that this Saturday is the very last Yoga in the Park for the season. I'm not going, of course, because the 108 Sun Salutations they'll be doing as part of the Yoga Aid Challenge is kind of far in the "inadvisable" realm for the day before running a first half marathon. Since last Saturday was the last day I had a regular, planned workout, I need to figure out a replacement.

This week I also found out that my regular Tuesday and Thursday morning class through my gym is ending. I'm pretty bummed about this, but considering that attendance had died pretty low, I understand why the class is getting shut down. However, this now means a total of three yoga classes in my regular week are gone and I need to figure out how to replace them.

This is just not right, y'all.

I know that I need to sit down with my schedules and figure everything out and replace the classes I can, and, for a neurotic over planner like me, that's not very hard. It does, however, leave me wondering if my time with California Family Fitness is winding down.

Which is not to say that I remained a member solely for a two day a week yoga class, however, it was the class I most consistently went to. I wonder if I might not be better served by a membership to a yoga studio and maybe one of the numerous CrossFit or weight lifting gyms in town.

But then I think about the XBike classes, which I enjoy, and the pool, which I've never used, and doubt leaving would be as easy as I think.

Hell. I guess I don't know. I suspect changes are not through coming my way, though, so, for now, I don't plan to shake things up considerably. My run plans will stay the same, I'll figure out how to add extra yoga classes back in, and I'll stick with the other cross training classes I'm taking.

After December, though, I just may be considering my alternatives.

Chafing & Water Retention

Once upon a time, I thought that, someday, eventually, when I became a "real" runner, I would not need to carry as much water with me. Because, you know, "real" runners don't carry water, or they just carry those cute little flask sized things (I mean, really... How cure are those tiny little bottles?).

The thing is, though, that, when you're slow as fuck (like me), you're going to be spending a lot more time running. That's a lot more time in the sun, the heat, sweating, exerting. So you're just never going to not need to bring extra water.

I most commonly run with something similar to this:

So the nozzle irritated me and I swapped the bottle out, but otherwise it's the same pack. It carries about 22 ounces of water, and I've usually frozen about half the bottle. It also carries keys, my phone, energy gels and kleenex (really. Have we met?). It does pretty good for up to about 8 miles if it's not extra hot, more if I can get a refill somewhere (hello, Starbucks!).

My last long run before Sunday's 16 miler, though, I had trouble getting a full refill and, as a result, ended up lower than I'd like by the final miles.

So on Sunday I tried taking this for a test run:

I've had it since Christmas (thanks, dad!), so it was about damn time. The problem was that the front pouches sat so far to the side that my arms were rubbing on them & the drinking hose the whole way. Other than that, it worked great, but I was not excited about the potential chafing.

At the halfway point, I made a pit stop at home and swapped the vest out for my waist pack and was able to finish my run (with a little help from 7-11).

So now I get to figure out how to go about bringing enough water with me while not injuring myself or driving myself crazy. For now, I think I'm going to use my waist pack along with this:

The handheld is functional but kind of annoying. Probably better than chafing, though.

In the near future, however, I hope to give one of these a try:

And seriously? How cute are these guys and their video? Just me?

Signs You Might Be Crazy - Running Edition

On Sunday I ran 16 miles. In a row. On purpose.

I didn't even stop when, around mile 13, I realized that my hamstrings were well and truly fucked.

There was a point after which it was harder and more painful to walk.

I hobbled the whole rest of the day, which, thankfully, never involved leaving the house.

I learned some things about my hydration packs that I'm not fond of and I may or may not post in more detail about that soon. What it boils down to, essentially, is a need for more water and less chafing.

You heard me.

That run was the last long run before this Sunday's Urban Cow Half Marathon. I'm pretty sure I can finish the half marathon. Without dying. I do, however, feel slightly panicked and like I'd really rather take it back and pretend that I never said I'd run this.

With one browser I'm refreshing the race's website as if there might be something new & enlightening to calm me down and with another browser I'm researching options for 50K's next spring.

As freaked out as I am about running the half marathon and then the marathon in December, why does the thought of running a 50K seem normal and perfectly doable? Maybe because next spring is so far away, surely I can cover that distance by then.

Right?

Of course, the speed I tend to run is probably way more suited to ultra runs than to shorter distance runs. Like that marathon. Because I'm slow, running for hours at a time is pretty status quo. No big deal.

Run for six hours? No big.

Maybe it's as simple as I'm completely batshit crazy.

And, yes. I am already looking at races for 2012.

Even though I'm totally freaked out about the three I have left for 2011.

PS: Run to Feed the Hungry: yes or no? Mind you that it's about ten days before That Marathon.

A Runner

One year ago this past weekend (the first weekend in June), I totally skipped out on the Doggy Dash 5K that I had registered for because I was pretty sure I could never run the distance. I wasn't even positive I could complete the distance. Further, the thought of turning up at an event as heavily attended as the Doggy Dash is was more than a little overwhelming for me.

While I was in Texas, I registered for the Women's Fitness Festival 5K and then proceeded to "train" for it by slacking like a mofo running approximately three times between my last Parkway Half training run and Sunday's race.

Because I am made of Awesome.

Overplanning? Check.

Follow through? Um. Not so much.

But the amazing thing is that it wasn't going to be a problem and I knew it.

One year after not being able to complete 3.1 miles, I can knock out a 5K without any real preparation.

No, I'm not fast (I still PR'd the race), but I can run a 5K.

I've run 13.34 miles.

I'm registered for a Half Marathon and a Marathon*.

I'm researching and evaluating training groups.

I follow the Fleet Feet events calendar for various running events.

I think I finally feel comfortable saying I am a runner. It finally feels more like I am and less like I want to be.

I can't wait to see how I feel a year from now.


Post-race Hydration


Breakfast at Hamburger Patty's. Holy cow that's a lot of food!


My new BondiBands!
A full race report is coming. I'm waiting for the official race photos to get posted.

*Thanks dad!

Ultra Insanity

I was really hoping to have a real blog post for you today.

But apparently not.

So I stole this from The Trail Jogger for your amusement.


And, yes. I want to do this.

On The Fence

Just because it's cute.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to register for the 8 Mile Challenge.

In addition to the general angst over last Saturday's performance, the ten day forecast indicates that it's going to start raining on Tuesday and it does not look like it will stop before race day.

Talk about a mud run!

My doctor's appointment on Tuesday was kind of the suck. My doctor was sick, so I was squeezed in with another doctor. Which meant having to "justify" my symptoms and my history. I ended up with a prescription for Albuterol, which, frankly, I don't believe will do what I need it to do. I've had it before, and I don't believe it helped all that much then, either.

For now, my plan of action includes:

- Removing dairy from my diet, again (so long, Chobani!)

- Increasing consumption of clear liquids

- Essential oil aromatherapy & steam

- Standard pollen mitigation techniques

Anyway. I'm not sure if there's even anything I can do about the lung congestion. Hopefully the return of the rain will calm allergy related issues for awhile. Maybe even long enough to get through the series?

Even though I'm still unsure of whether or not I'll be running the rest of it.

Lamest blog post ever?

Um. Right.

How do you make a decision when you're on the fence?

Sacramento Trail Run Series: 6 Mile Challenge - A Race Report

Fleet Feet & TBF Racing present the Sacramento Trail Run Series: 6 Mile Challenge - A Race Report

Race Start Temperature: 39F
Race End Temperature: 55F
Average winds 3 - 9 MPH

It wasn't foggy or cloudy or rainy or windy. It was sunny and nice with a bit of a breeze. It was, in fact, the perfect weather for a race.

The folks at TBF Racing really do a bang up job putting on events. They are well organized events with great support.

And they're hard.

In all fairness, the only other trail race I've ever done was the Down & Dirty Mud Run, which, in comparison, was like Trail Running Lite. It was (mostly) on trails, but, for the most part, they were wide and fairly flat, with not a lot in the way of large rocks, ruts, roots or sand. In retrospect, the D&D seemed very much like the course was planned for runners who didn't normally do a lot of trail running but were out for the challenge of completing that particular event.

TBF, on the other hand, was founded and is run by people love and train on the trails in our area and are not afraid, apparently, to throw your ass into a pretty challenging course* because, you know, they put "Challenge" in the title and that should probably have been a clue.

The course started through sand - and, no, not wet, packed sand, because that would be too easy - and continued through hills, valleys, single track, over rocks, roots, ruts, creeks and roads. And as if that wasn't enough, before we were finished, they released the mountain bike racers**.

All of the aid stations were well stocked and staffed, even as late as we came through them. Every area with event staff or volunteers was staffed through the entirety of our (long ass) run. I've heard enough stories about slow runners coming upon abandoned aid stations that I truly appreciate TBF's commitment to bringing every racer in.

Official Race Time: 2:01:22 - MonkeyDo & I DLF'd. But we did not DNF***.

The next race in this series is the 8 Mile Challenge, and takes place on February 19th. It's on my race calendar but I haven't registered for it, yet. I'm torn between how nauseous the course map makes me and this weird feeling that it's "just" two more miles. I feel strangely at peace with the thought of DLFing the entire series. And maybe I should just shut my mouth there & not let the debate continue in my head. I can DLF the crap out of this series. But I still have to figure out how to make my brain STFU and let me do it.

Lessons Learned:

1. I don't fuel before or during long runs because of this article (as I've discussed in the past). I'm not sure this is, necessarily, the best tactic for Race Day. When I finally gave in & ate one of the Clif Shots they were handing out at aid stations, I felt immensely better. Ideally, I'd like my body to burn fat instead of carbs for running, but I think that might be something to work towards and not something to count on right now, during a race.

2. It's allergy season. Lung congestion (to the point of coughing & phlegm production) had hit me Thursday and into Friday. I felt much better by Saturday morning, but still had enough congestion that I could tell it was affecting my performance. I have an appointment this morning with my Primary Care Physician to discuss options for taming this congestion. My personal history thoroughly demonstrates that I'm not shaking this congestion without help, and I am not willing to let it compromise my plans.

3. Astigmatism (which is why I wear glasses) + Trail Running = Tripping. I tripped & almost fell a total of four times. At least two of those times were directly related to not clearing a rock I was convinced I'd clear. Hello jacked up depth perception! My depth perception is, really, not that bad, but, apparently, just bad enough to catch the lips of rocks as I tried to clear them. I don't run in my glasses because they're just not the right kind of glasses in shape & size, and they'd actually make things worse. I plan to get some glasses specifically for running, but I'm not sure what would work best, especially when running conditions are frequently light/dark/light/dark/RAINING. This is something on the short term to-do list because I'm sure the price tag on these will be obscene. If anyone has tips, they would be greatly appreciated.

4. Do not wear the pants with the wide bottoms on trail runs. Seriously. At one point the toe of one Vibram'd foot caught the hem of the pants on the other leg & I almost went down. How embarrassing would that have been?



*I legitimately have so little actual experience with trail running that I have no idea if the course was all that hard or if I just suck have no experience. So, you know. Take this part with a grain of salt.

**We were really & truly so slow that they had started the next event before we got finished. It was certainly a unique perspective on the event they were doing.

***DLF = Dead Last Finish; DNF = Did Not Finish; DNS = Did Not Start
DLF>DNF>>DNS

Race Weekend - The Beginning

Race weekend started with a trip to REI. Because I needed* more nuun. Because hydration is key.

I also got this guy:


I snapped this up as soon as I saw it. I run with my iPod, and the combination of a loose cord & my flailing limbs means I catch my thumb on the cord frequently. I would not be surprised if my first "running injury" is a dislocated thumb. I am that klutztastic. Hopefully Curvyman can alleviate this situation for me.


I got this for SweetPea. I thought it would appeal to her not-so-inner Germaphobe. She was disappointed that it does not work like hand sanitizer. But the joke's on her, because MonkeyDo & I totally used this for washing our hands in the bathrooms at the race.


I don't know that I've mentioned this, but my Drink of Choice from Starbucks has become the Doppio con Panna, which is a double shot of espresso with a shot of whipped cream. I really like it, especially when the baristas remember that it's not a frappuccino & doesn't require that much whipped cream. I've been lamenting the lack of wee travel mugs, and was super excited to spot this little guy. Perfectly sized for my Starbucks drink or for a double shot of espresso with creamer when I'm at home. Hurrah!


The real reason for the trip, of course, being more nuun. The selection at REI was kind of small, so SweetPea ended up stopping for me at Fleet Feet to pick up a couple more tubes. This is a combination of what I got for the weekend and what I already had. I tossed it all in my purse so that it would be with me no matter where we were. But I get the feeling this might look a little... Weird?

I suspect you are waiting for a report on the actual race? I hope to have that posted in the morning. Thanks for your patience!

*And by "needed", I mean "had a neurotic compulsion to not be near running out of".

Neurotic Indecisive Overplanners Anonymous

I'm not just the President...

Here's a list of races that have caught my interest. And I cannot decide which I actually want to work towards. Obviously, I can't do all of them. But I'm pretty sure I can handle a fair few. If I can figure out which.

Which would you choose?

June 5th - California Run Festival

Marathon

Half Marathon

July 9th

Headlands Marathon

July 31st

San Francisco Marathon

August 20th

Cinderella Trail Run Marathon

August 28th

Dirt Inspires Women's Trail Half Marathon

September 24th

Sierra Nevada Endurance Run Trail Marathon

October 9th

Portland Marathon

October 16th

Nike Women's Marathon

November 6th

Two Cities Marathon

December 4th

California International Marathon


At some point? I should probably stop looking! I seem to be getting really good at finding races I want to run!

Portrait of a Trail Run

We crossed this "bridge".


We did not cross this "bridge".


We went this way, instead.


Are you missing a car?


Or maybe this one?


Breakfast of Champions. Because, yes, I earned a donut. Damn it.