Did You Feel a Bump?

Imagine the following:

You go to work, thinking it's just another normal day. You park your car in the parking lot, just like any other day. You don't think anything of it, because what could happen? Just as your wrapping up your day and getting ready to get back in your car to go home, someone comes running up to you. There's a problem.

Funny, that's not where you remember parking your car.Turns out the driver of this car had a little problem. While trying to turn left from a side street onto a four lane thoroughfare, she had a little navigational malfunction. She managed to whip her car up the sidewalk, over the embankment/grassy knoll dividing the parking lot from the sidewalk, through the parking lot and into your parking space, slamming into your car with enough force to knock your car from it's space, through the adjoining parking space, across the parking lot lane, and almost into a truck on the other side of the parking lot lane. When the car finally came to a rest, its front end was sitting on top of the ass of your car.

The offending vehicle is sitting on the flatbed approximately where your car was parked.

Did I forget to mention the part about how the car also flew over this divider, including through a tree before hitting your car?



On the plus side, you weren't in the car at the time, even though you were almost in the car, and nobody was seriously injured. And lots of people had a really good story to tell afterwards. Unfortunately for you, your story-telling had to include an insurance company.

By the way, I really like my camera phone.

PS: I'd also like to clarify that the only involvement I had here is that SweetPea and I were having lunch at a restaurant attached to the parking lot.

This guy

Parks like an asshole. But at least it didn't take him six tries.

Bahb Would Say I'm "Aggro" Today

Pet Peeve of the Morning:

People who don't get the concept of a four-way stop.

Look, dude. It's not 1-2-3-4. It's two-by-two. So if you & the guy directly across from you are both going forward, and you're both at the line at the same time, it's both of your turns. That means you both go at the same time. Really, it's ok.

Now, this didn't hold me up none, so I guess I don't care that much. Still, though, you were holding up a big line of people, who I'm quite sure did not appreciate having to wait an extra turn, just because you're a dipwad.

Honorary Pet Peeve of the Morning:

For GruppieGirl - OMG, are people crazy?

Look, if someone's turning in to a school, that means that not only do they have kids in the car, but, also, they do this every day, so they're probably fairly good at it, and don't want to spend any more time doing it than is absolutely necessary.

What's that mean to you?

Suck it up, have a breather, use the slight pause in forward motion to finish sending that text message you're working on and get the f* over yourself.

Thanks.

Apparently, I'm cranky today:

Yesterday morning I woke up all freaking kinds of sleepy, so I thought we'd hit the Starbucks on the way to Monkey See's school. Until, that is, I got in the truck and heard the radio and we were only three minutes earlier than normal. That nixed that idea in a good way, so I thought we'd stop today.

Which was an awesome idea. Until we got there.

The cashier taking orders was, clearly, brand squeaky new. I have empathy for this, really, I do. It took a good five minutes just to get the order placed.

Like I said, I have empathy for that in-training, don't know what the hell you're doing yet thing.

Here's my issue (oh, y'all knew there was going to be an issue, so just hush):

Not only was she clearly new and learning the ropes, there was the stink of inept around her. You know what I mean. The kind of person that somehow missed the "common sense" line during construction. The kind of person who may have never stepped into a Starbucks before deciding that, really, she needed a job. The kind of person that makes everything harder than it needs to be because they're overthinking things (even though they have no apparent common sense).

What is this person doing working the morning shift by herself? I understand that she needs to learn, but why was she on her own and why, why was she on during the busiest part of the day? Also, has nobody noticed how clearly inept she is? How does this not get sniffed out during the interview process?

Yeah, because I do think that whoever hired her has no business making hiring decisions.

Really.

And it's not like it's the Starbucks I prefer (of which I know I've spoken before), where I could probably walk up to the (butch lesbian) manager, look her in the eye and say "look, kitten, sparky has got to go."

Which, by the way, I totally intend to do the next time I go there if that new blond girl is still there and she's still having as hard a time as she's been.

My point is that I don't know who the manager is, so I can't walk up to someone and complain.

If this is still an issue the next time we go, however, I will probably not be taking my business back there. I have places to go and things to do and none of them, on a weekday, ever, ever involve spending more than 5 minutes at a Starbucks. Ever.

And I had it easy. There was only one person in line in front of me. There were about 8 people in line by the time she was done taking our order.

Check that, SweetPea... I "backed up drive through" in the lobby!

Did You Guess?:

For those of you who didn't catch that...

Yes, I have a preferred Starbucks because it's run by a butch lesbian.

I don't know how they're run where y'all are at, but around here, an older butch lesbian is not a standard issue Starbucks employee, much less a manager. Further, most of her employees are not what you'd call standard issue Starbucks employees, which I think rocks. Almost all of them are stellar, too, which means I can stand going there (I am such a customer service snob).

The reason that I don't go to my preferred Starbucks during the week is that it is so not on my way anywhere. Which is so poopy I can hardly stand it.

Good Thing I'm Not On a Diet:

I brought my standard lunch today, which is a can of vegetable soup (shut up, Codejnki), but I just didn't feel like eating it. It's possible that I've been "souped out". So, I think to myself, no big deal, I'll just get lunch from the snack shop. I figured poptarts and a bag of chips.

Too bad there weren't any in there, and the snack shop was pretty picked clean.

Of course, I still didn't want my soup, so that was out of the question.

My lunch? A can of Diet Coke and a cinnamon roll.

Yum.

I *heart* Wednesday

Pet Peeve of the Morning:

Look, Mr. Semi Truck Driver, I know you saw that light was turning yellow. I know you were cruising up on that turn lane thinking "hey, it's only yellow, it's not like it's red." You know what, though, Mr. Semi Truck Driver? I'm pretty sure that you damn well know you're are not sliding that big ass trailer through the intersection while the light is still yellow. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure you had a reasonable understanding of the fact that, probably, you were going to be holding someone up on their green light, possibly long enough for it to turn yellow.

While I'd totally like to give you the benefit of the doubt that stopping for the light would have been dangerous for you to do, I see this way too often to believe that's always the case. I know you're hoping you can make that light, Mr. Semi Truck Driver, but, seriously, slow it the fuck down so that you can stop if it turns yellow. I really don't need to be smeared across an intersection just because you wanted to spare the 3.5 minutes you'd have had to wait for the next green.

A Note About Bodytribe:

I came to Bodytribe by way of the Wine Dog, who is the one responsible for information related to "no ass, no glass" and then something about barely even a locker room. I've done a thorough job of perusing their website and reading the blog and I really have a lot of respect for what they're doing, and the information they're putting out there. I also love the attitude, which is sort of a combination of intense, laid back, taking it seriously without being serious, with a smidge of "arty" (bohemian?). I think it's something that would be awesome fun to be part of, and I think that's a good goal.

But here's where we hit a snag.

Weights intimidate the crap out of me (just when you thought I couldn't get more neurotic, right?). Yeah, ok, that's probably silly, but there it is.

Personally, it's never been something I was ever particularly interested in. I've also never had any real opportunity to really learn anything about what to do and how to do it. The only thing I really know is that it's really easy to do two things:

1. Hurt yourself
2. Spin your wheels by doing it wrong

Frankly, I'm not interested in doing either, thanks.

I do know that, in order to get where I want to be both weight-wise and health-wise, weights are going to have to become a part of the plan. I know. I'm not stupid, y'all. I also know that, when I get there, someone really patient and really knowledgeable is going to have to walk me through doing things correctly. Probably more than once. And I'm sure Codejnki can back me up on the "patient" part.

Right now, I think I'm going to work on getting some of the fat off, getting some time in on the skates, and getting used to being "active" again. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to figure out when it's time to stop putting it off. And I'm also pretty sure that there's someone or other who would be willing to get in my face about it when it is time.

When it is time? I'll tell you what... I can't wait to make that tire my bitch.

In Other News:

My work schedule has been officially changed. I'll be getting off an hour earlier, and will be home by 4:30. Monkey Do doesn't need to get picked up until 6:00, so I plan on spending that gap walking. At least for now. I also plan on walking to the school to pick her up, instead of getting my lazy ass back in the car and driving down there.

Ha.

Did you catch that?

I'd rather walk to school (about a mile and a half, round trip) than drive because I'm too lazy to get back in the car & drive down there.

Also, I guess I owe y'all a post about my tits. I'm kind of concerned, though, about whether or not you can handle it.

Yeah. I'm totally going to post it anyway, though.

Manic Monday, Random Tuesday?

Pet Peeve of the Morning:

People who sit at a four way stop and wait until you have pulled all the way up to the line and come to a full and complete stop before they go, even though there is no other reason for them to be waiting.

You know what I'm talking about. What the hell is up with that?

I had one this morning. She was stopped at the left hand stop and was turning left, away from me. I was pulling up the line, with my right-turn blinker on, obviously slowing down and, what's more, turning into my right turn as I pulled up to the stop. Even had we both gone at the exact same time, the direction of our individual courses was such that we would not even have come close to meeting.

Why, why, why do people like this feel the need to wait? Why can't they just take their damn turn and not make me wait for them?


Eat Less, Move More:

Yesterday was actually a pretty good day, on the eating front. Not only did I make it the entire day without cramming a pop tart into my mouth, I also only drank one can of Diet Coke. Of course, the rest of the day I was drinking iced tea, so my water consumption was still fairly low. But. You know. Whatever!

Dinner was kind of a bust, as per usual, what with the overeating and all. But it certainly wasn't as bad as it usually is could have been. So that's a bonus.

We did not make it down to check out the gym either of the last two weekends, and it's looking fairly bleak for this weekend, too. That's kind of ok, though, because the special they were running when I first checked them out is over, and I am in no way paying retail when a rate like that is available.

I did, however, purchase a fancy new pair of sneakers. They are so fancy that I got them at Payless on BoGo because I am a big old tightwad. If I ever actually take up running, I am so. screwed.

I may be adjusting my work schedule so that I'm getting out of here an hour earlier. This may lead to the possibility, if the other gym isn't forthcoming with a reasonable rate, of joining the Fitness 19 which is closer to my house than the 24 Hour Fitness. They don't open up near early enough for me to get there in the morning, but, if I'm leaving an hour earlier, there's every possibility that I can hit it on myway home and then call it a day.

Unlike Bodytribe Fitness, Fitness 19 has enough glass to render it an earthquake hazard, much of which is in the form of ginormous windows that look out onto the busy shopping center parking lot.

Which is just so awesome I can't stand it.

Also, unlike 24 Hour Fitness, but much like Bodytribe Fitness, there is neither a pool nor anything resembling a locker room. The locker is no big, since I'll be headed home for the day and it's not like I can't shower there.

The pool thing, though...

Well... Let's just hope that Fitness 19 has a month to month plan.

Google Keywords:

Searches for "totally tatiana" are still completely out of control. However, the big winner lately is the post about the inverted bob. Who knew? I have no idea what keywords people are using, because most come from a google image search. I think that's pretty funny, because there were no actual pictures in the post, only links to pictures. Lots of other people are getting good advise on business phone call etiquette (ha!).

Moving On:

That's about all I have for y'all this morning, but I should be posting more soon, with topics including my tits and probably some other drivel that nobody will care about because Hi! Tits!

Which Cracker Jacks box was that in?

Why does the school drop-off always have to be such an adventure? I find it hard to believe that all the crazy people/idiot drivers out there happen to have kids that go to the same schools as mine. So what gives?

I drop my son off at school in the morning, and, because we're both compulsive about time, I drop him off earlier than I'm "supposed to", but not so early that there aren't plenty of kids and staff milling about. Because I drop him off so early, there's hardly ever any other traffic to deal with, and there are usually only two, maybe three, other cars in the drop-off area.

My son's school is addressed on a little four-lane "main" road, but to drop kids off, you have to turn on to a residential street. It is a traffic joy, let me tell you, and backs up quite a bit. Some parents don't have the patience to sit through all the traffic to turn down the little residential street and drop their kids off in the drop off area.

So they make illegal u-turns on the four-lane road and drop their kids off along the road there.

OK, so the kids are in junior high, and it's really not a big deal that they're not getting dropped off "at the door". But, you know, some of these parents are not so much suave with the illegal u-turn making.

On Tuesday, we were late with the drop off due to last minute project completion. After I make the drop off, I turn back up the four-lane road into what is the "illegal u-turn area". I'm cruising up the road and I have to dodge someone in the left-hand lane who is waiting to "turn left", only we all know what he really is trying to do is make another illegal u-turn so he can go the other way up the road. I dodge into the right hand lane behind a minivan that promptly has to all but slam on its breaks to avoid the Suburban that has decided to make an illegal u-turn in front of oncoming traffic.

Nice.

When I gave her the dirty look stare as I passed by, she had her hands in her hair and this expression that was like "ohmygawd! that was soooo scary!" and I came very very close to pulling over so that I could walk back to her stupid little driver door and yell at her for being a twit and for putting our lives at risk by being a moron and that maybe she shouldn't drive if she had no damn common sense.

And then yesterday we are sitting at the last stop light before the school stop light. It's two four-lane roads. I'm in the left hand lane (because my next turn is a left turn, so I need this lane), and our light turns green. There is a person coming up the road into the right lane who does not need to slow down or stop because the light is now green.

Except that the person in the intersection on the right-hand side of us has, for some reason, inexplicably decided it must be her turn and started to go. Totally randomly. For no apparent rational reason. She climbs her fool ass completely into the intersection before the rapidly approaching oncoming cars make her realise something must be amiss and stop. The car in the right hand land, which she is now completely blocking, slams on his brakes and comes within inches of her door before stopping. At this point, the ditz in the Honda finally starts to back up a bit and get out of the lane.

And I know that might be totally unrelated because she was not trying to get to my son's school but ohmygod! Are you serious? People are freaking nuts.

All of this has been in the rain, no less! Which makes me believe that what Christine said was correct... She said that there is a special kind of driver's license that allows the person to only drive on their birthday or when it's raining. So, of course, when they do get to drive, they act like crazy people because they're just so excited.

The last couple of days have shown that, clearly, she must be right!

Noble Vegetarian Redux

In the last two days there have been two seperate visits to my page linked from a google search for "Noble Vegetarian".

I have no idea what y'all are looking for, but I can at least offer some information on the restaurant.

Noble Vegetarian is located at 5049 College Oack Dr., Ste. A (it's the first one on the left) in Sacramento, CA. It's right near American River College, Aida's Bookstore and Wishing Well.
You can call them at (916) 334-6060.

They do have really good food and the prices are reasonable. The first time we went, we got two "family style" dishes and an appetizer, plus iced tea and the bill was about $25 with tax.

I highly recommend the Ruby Pearls and the Roti Drumsticks. SO GOOD. I have heard that the Pho is pretty good, as well.

Everything they serve is vegetarian, and most of it is outright vegan.

The Noble Vegetarian is definitely not a fancy, swank diner. It's clean, friendly and good. Also, one of the few places in the area where you can enjoy vegetarian and vegan foods without having to place special orders.

Can there be parking lot rage?

OK, I know it's totally irrational, but this just irritates me so much! Does she not know how to park? Is she really so concerned with the safety of her precious car that she thinks it's ok to take up three parking spots?

Seriously?

Because that's insane!

Now, you can tell from the picture that there are plenty of space in our parking lot, so, from that standpoint, this is really not a big deal. But what does she do when she goes grocery shopping? Or to the mall?

And! This is about the eighth car she's had! All brand new and pretty and shiny. She also doesn't seem to come to work that often, because I don't see this every day. Unless she's got a junker she brings for work or she carpools. Personally, I want to know how a government employee can afford all these nice, shiny new cars. I've seen our paychecks, after all.

Also, is it bad that every time I see this, it makes me want to "accidentally" clip it on my way out or "accidentally" key it on my way to my truck?