Bald is Beautiful!

Meanwhile, you can still donate to my beautiful girl's fuzzy bald head by clicking here! Every little bit helps kick cancer's ass. Also thank you to everyone who has donated so far!

Midweek Treat

Wednesday was something of a treat for us. SweetPea took the day off from dealing with GC2010 and I left work early enough to get a decent nap in before I had to pick MonkeyDo up from her after school program.

And boy did I nap! I managed to get in just over two hours and I slept good and hard. It was a little slice of much needed bliss and I got to share it with SweetPea, who was napping next to me.

On the drive home from work, I decided that, since SweetPea was home, I was not going to yoga and, instead, she & I were going to go on a date.

After our nap we delivered MonkeyDo to her father's house and headed off to a special dinner for just the two of us.

We went to Carino's, where it was Wine Down Wednesday - you get half off any bottle(s) of wine with your dinner. Too bad I don't drink wine, that would have been a great deal!


I ordered the Lemon Garlic Pepper (sorry!) Salmon because the other salmon offering came with pasta and this one came with lots of veggies. It seemed like such a good idea to not have pasta in my dinner & have the veggies, instead. I have no idea why that seemed important. After appetizers (Italian Nachos - mini, no meat), Caprese salad, two baskets of bread (*ahem*), two Italian Margaritas and dessert, I really don't think the absence of pasta changed things much one way or the other.

It was delicious, though, and that's what really matters. Right?

I was underwhelmed by the Tiramisu. It was the first time I've tried it, but SweetPea assured me that it was, in fact, underwhelming.

It was a great evening together, and just exactly what we needed. Of course we got to bed late, erasing the good of our nap earlier, but it was totally worth it.

In other news, it's been a great week for MonkeyDo, who, we've rediscovered, is made of Awesome Sauce.

First, she crafted this fabulous card for SweetPea & I:


Check the popout little inside thing! How awesome is that! It was very sweet and very crafty and just exactly the kind of thing SweetPea and I needed.

And then we got a phone call from her teacher on Wednesday night to let us know that, the next day, she was getting a Student of the Month award at the monthly assembly.

Fortunately, I was already scheduled to be off work Thursday morning, so I got to be in attendance for the assembly and the award.

Not only did she get the award, but the principal pulled her apart from the group to publicly acknowledge her for having shaved her head for St. Baldrick's.

I'm telling you this kid is just made of Awesome Sauce!

A Hot Mess of Cranky

I should totally use the excuse and blame my irritations on PMS, but there are a few things that have really bugged the snot out of me today.

Back to School Night

Every year, the school expressly requests that parents leave their kids at home for Back to School night. Unlike Open House in the spring, Back to School Night is a time for parents to get more information about what's going on with the school, what will be happening in their child's class, who their child's teacher is, what will be expected of their child, etc. It's not interesting to kids, because, really, they hear it every damn day, so they don't really want to hear it again at night, right?

But every year, without fail, easily half the parents bring their kids, anyway. Some bring their actual grade-level kids, and some bring toddlers and babies. Of course, the parents are torn between paying attention and minding their children, so neither gets done effectively. Which tends to also mean that there are quite a few kids not behaving themselves (or keeping quiet) like they should be.

It's not that hard, right? It's one friggin' night a year - make other arrangements! I totally get that some parents don't have babysitters, or close family, or the ability to make arrangements for their kids' care for, what, two whole hours? Especially when I'm looking at both parents there with the kids in tow. Because one of you couldn't have stayed home and minded the ranch? That's how we do it!

Yes, I will totally admit that our little family has been extraordinarily fortunate in that there's never help or back up sitting far, should we need it. Between my family & SweetPea's family, plus Neighbor and assorted other friends and relatives, we've never NOT had someone who could watch the kids when we needed it. But I fail to comprehend that this many families, particularly when so many of them have two parents present, just can't find care for their kids for two hours for one damn night.

Party Invitations

MonkeyDo told me last night that one of her friends invited her to a party. No, a proper (and paper) invitation was not provided. I advised her that she could tell her friend that I would need something written, on paper, with a phone number I could call, before I would consider any invitations.

Today she presented me with a scrap of notebook paper that her friend had written the details on.

It's a birthday-slumber party. It's Saturday.

You know, I don't even think I need to say anything further about that.

San Francisco Field Trip

This is possibly just kind of petty, but I'm writing about it, anyway. Sue me.

When MonkeySee was in fourth grade, his class went on a field trip to San Francisco. It was. You know. THE San Francisco field trip. I remember going on it when I was a kid (vaguely), and I believe that was in fourth grade, too.

You know what?

MonkeyDo is in fifth grade this year, and, apparently, there is not to be any San Francisco field trip for her.

It's not that she's never been to The City, or done any of the cool things that are there. That's totally not the point. It's the first big rented-buses, get to school early, leave late, drive two hours AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS, and "here, have some money for the gift shop" field trip. It's a big deal, dammit, and she totally missed out, and I totally didn't even realize it until recently.

It sucks, and I'm ticked.

Doctor's Appointments

Last week I got a call from a doctor who requested I come in for a procedure. He can't do it there at his office, so he was forwarding my information to another office, where he would do the procedure, so that the head nurse could call and schedule an appointment.

Tonight I received an automated phone call with a "reminder" for my appointment Monday.

Know what happened in the meantime?

Bupkiss, that's what.

I never even got an attempted phone call to schedule an appointment. Nothing. Because, clearly, I have nothing better to do than rearrange my life at a moment's notice.

Fortunately (for me and definitely not for her), he happened to give me the name of the head nurse who was supposed to call me to schedule the appointment.

Guess who's getting a phone call in the morning?

Ooh, good guess!

Now, I'm not bringing The Bitch out up front in the phone call (well, maybe I am... depends on how ticked I am when I dial). I mean, this procedure is not exactly pleasant and I'm not entirely sure pissing off the Head Nurse before the procedure is a good idea. But I will be expressing to her, in no uncertain terms, that it would be better for her if, next time, she discussed it with me before scheduling me for an appointment.

People who assume I have no life

I guess this plays into the thing with the nurse and the invitation. The last month or so has just been filled with last minute scrambles as we found out about events and appointments and things at the last minute. It is so frustrating, and I cannot even count the number of times I've grumbled "What? Am I NOT supposed to have a day job?"

As we gear up for another school year, I understand that things are going to be crazy and hectic and largely seat-of-the-pants, but it doesn't help when people like teachers, school administrations, doctor's office, etc. don't take into account that none of us are sitting around, twiddling our thumbs hoping that they've got something for us to do.

Also? I am not nice when I'm pissed off, and not much pisses me off more quickly than being disrespectful. And not being mindful that I have other obligations smacks too loudly of disrespecting myself and those obligations.

Something I Love

Packages from the HagRag!

Yeah, I know, I totally BUY them and all. But I just love getting them! She always packs them like they're presents, there's always an extra goodie or two, and they're just so gorgeous and soft and shiny and brand new.

I know there's a lot of you who may never even consider using cloth pads, but she also sells reusable cloth tissues (like handkerchiefs, only smaller, softer, and more fun), as well as "roundies", which are awesome for everything from makeup removal to mopping up small spills or even using to wipe fingers on at mealtimes. Plus, she's just totally adorable, and has a totally adorable, chubby-cheeked baby girl named Zuly. Zuly fergoshsakes, how awesome is that!

If you haven't been around long enough to have read my dissertation on cloth pads, you can check the posts out here and here.

I've also ordered (from a vendor on etsy) a custom double-sided "wet bag" for when MonkeyDo starts. That way, she'll have one side to keep her "clean" pads in and one side for her "wet" pads, and her wet ones won't leak or smell because of the waterproof lining. Should be cute as beans, too, but I'll post more about it once it arrives.

Goodnight, Moon

And now I'm going to bed. Not because I think sleep will help me be less crabby, but because I really am enamored of The Sleeping, and I totally want to make it my boyfriend.

Goodnight!

Out With "The Girls"

Ghost Hunter:


The Birthday Girl:


See the rest of the pictures here.

Family Portrait Outtakes

Barnuhbus - Our New Van

2005 Pontiac Montana. Seats 7. Yes, we did get the 60 month care plan. Any other questions? Because I totally forget what else I should say about the new car.

Other than: Squee!

PS: I could tell you when Satan's soccer practice is, but then I'd have to kill you.

Thursday Night Gratitude

Pizza & Protest Signs
Lap Warming Kittehs

Gratitude List for October First

1. It's finally October!

2. Kick ass hair stylists that double as dear friends

3. Ribbons of silver

4. Friends you want to curl up in

5. Piles and piles of twisted, curly hair

There Are No "Buts" in Unconditional

I guess the best thing I can say is how fortunate we are to have a largely loving and supportive family. While there has certainly been friction and conflict over the years in various ways, things have, for the most part, worked themselves out over time. We may not always like each other, but we do always love each other and stand by each other. SweetPea and I are learning more and more each day about how true that is.

This is, unfortunately, not an entirely common thing among homosexuals. Too often, family members are not as loving and supportive of their gay relatives as our families have been.

We are well and truly blessed, on many levels.

Which is not to say, unfortunately, that every member of our family is as unconditionally accepting as all of that.

We have been having a problem with one particular family member that came to something of a head last night.

When we got married in 2005 2004* (you know... the real wedding), SweetPea's father said blatantly that he wouldn't be going. At the time, we chalked it up to his wife, thinking that he was deferring the decision to her.

Now, three four* years later, her father has, again, blatantly said he wouldn't be going.

You see, even though he loves her, and loves me, and loves our children, and accepts our relationship and the family that we've built together, he does not believe in gay marriage and, therefore, cannot see clear to supporting his daughter when she gets married.

Maybe it's the way I'm wired, but I just don't understand that train of thinking. I do not understand how you can love someone and love their partner and see that the relationship is good and that it makes the people you love happy but then believe, honestly believe, that these people whom you love are somehow less deserving of basic civil rights based on no reason other than the gender of the person they love.

Last night, in MonkeySee's school parking lot, after most everyone had loaded up and gone, SweetPea and her father had it out.

I have no idea what all was said. What I do know is what her father had the brass tacks to tell her last night.

SweetPea's father, the man that she refers to as her hero, the man the Monkeys call Opah, told his daughter that he believes that the fact that she and her brother are gay are his punishment for his sins and turning his back on god.

SweetPea and her brother, his only children, are, in his mind, the plague of locusts inflicted upon him for his sins.

Nice.

I have to remind myself that I shouldn't be that surprised.

As much as I love him and respect him, I should not be surprised.

When you love someone, though, or, at least, when I love someone, I find it easier to overlook the negative. The things that maybe you should see and understand and accept as part of the package. It's easier to just think that some of those negative things are a fluke, or misinterpreted, or a product of a much younger and less mature person.

Like when he told his twelve year old daughter and nine year old son that it was their fault he and their mother were getting a divorce because the siblings fought too much.

And then all I can think is that this is a man who is unworthy of the love, respect and hero-worship that has been bestowed upon him by my wife.

This is a man that, I'm disappointed to have to say, I would rather my children not look up to or emulate.

I don't even know what to say about the fact that he would tell children that it was their fault their parents were divorcing or the fact that he views his children as a punishment, a cross to bear.

What I do know is that SweetPea and I are, otherwise, blessed and loved and supported in spades. There are so many people who love and support us, including a fair few who previously held negative ideas about homosexual relationships, that I don't even think I can count high enough to count them all.

If SweetPea's father prefers to allow himself to be blinded by his close-minded bigotry and hatred then that is his loss. It's his "hard cheese" to swallow.

Not ours.

I will mourn the loss of our relationship with him the way we believed that it was, and I will certainly miss that. But I, personally, am not interested in maintaining the same relationship with someone who has made it clear that he feels belittled by it.

And, to the best of my ability, I refuse to allow him any further opportunity for breaking my wife's heart.



* I am so good at remembering dates it's scary. < /sarcasm >

Our New Addition

Her name is Gomi Takaramono. The intention was to call her "rice" in Japanese, but Monkey See maybe isn't so much paying attention in Japanese. Instead, Gomi means "garbage". Takaramono means "treasure".

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Yes, we did name her garbage. It's ok.

Also, yes, she's pit. Yes, that's the breed that we had initially agreed upon before getting sidelined into Akitas and Rotties. She's about 8 months old. Yes, she has one brown eye and one blue eye.

We stopped on the way home and made lots of visits, Gomi greeted everyone from her pad in the backseat. Once home, she had a look around the living room and inspected her new crate. Then SweetPea came out and sat down on the couch. Gomi wandered on up to her, flopped down on the ground in front of her and put all four feet in the air.

SuperFat came wandering out into the living room, walked right on past the dog, inspected the new crate, and then sniffed the prone puppy. No hiss, no raised fur, no reaction whatsoever.

I guess she's ours.

*squeal*!

Thankful for gratitude

I read this fabulous post this morning when I really should have been getting ready for work. I pulled up a blank entry and thought of the question "what inspires your gratitude?" I jotted down the first three things that came to my mind and clicked "save now" before heading out the door.

Faith

Hope

Love

What sustains and nourishes my soul?

Uh. Yeah. Faith. Hope. Love.

I have faith. Faith in myself, faith in us. Faith in providence and serendipity and karma. I have faith in my kids even though they don't yet understand that. I don't have the faith that so many understand it as. I don't go to church or pray to God or read a book. I feel it in my soul. I feel it around me. I feel it in my gut and in my heart when times get tough that we'll get through, that we are strong enough, that everything is going to work out.

I hope. I hope for better days. I hope for peaceful, quiet nights. I hope that good things are coming and that I'll know the right door when I see it. Some days I hope that there really is enough gas to get the car all the way home without incident. Some days, when things are bad, I put in my earphones, I tune out a little bit, and I climb into my hope and hang out. I have faith that if I hope long enough and hard enough – and follow through with that much work – then my hope will become my "is".

Love. Who can survive without love? Faith and hope and love are all three colors of a tapestry. Woven together, individual, but vital to the whole. Love is a part of faith and hope, just as faith and hope are a part of love.

I am deeply grateful for all three. And for the reminder.

Gratitude

Today I am thankful for....

SweetPea

MonkeyDo and MonkeySee

Teetums

Gimpy and SuperFat

Babe & her Sweet Prince (grammy and grandpa)