Chuck Norris: A Consolation Prize for the Rest of the World

We haven't had real television in the house for years now. We get no reception and I refuse to pay for cable. We get shows from netflix or redbox and we burn through television series this way.

Recently we've started watching Supernatural. We're only in season four, which is awesome, because I think we've got at least three seasons left. The older of the two Winchester brothers is Dean. He's a classic rock loving, wise cracking, ass-kicking guy, and he's kind of a favorite in our house.

What you probably don't know is that my dad is also named Dean, a connection not lost on either Monkey. Which explains how the following conversation* came about recently:

MonkeyDo: Who would win in a fight: Dean or Grandpa Dean?

Me: If they were the same ages they are now or if they were the same age?

MonkeyDo: If they were the same age.

MonkeySee: Grandpa Dean.

MonkeyDo: Yeah.

MonkeySee: I think that, if you adjusted for age, there's nobody that Grandpa Dean couldn't beat. It's like Grandpa Dean's that really tough guy that you'd never know because he doesn't use it unless he needs to.

I'm not really sure what it is about my dad that leaves people with that impression, but it's a pretty common assessment of him. Sure, he's a mechanic and a hunter, and he was raised in a family of Manly Men during an era of Manly Men, but none of that necessarily makes him more of a badass than the next guy.

Who am I kidding?

My dad could totally beat up your dad.

But he's much more likely to drop a hand down on your shoulder, look you dead in the eye, and follow "You know..." up with a detailed explanation of why he thinks you're wrong. Because, yes, my dad could totally beat your dad up, but he's just as comfortable using his words to prove his point.

He was born a badass.

My dad's on the left, circa 1973.

Happy birthday dad. May you kick ass for many years to come.

*This conversation is totally paraphrased because, you know... My memory's shit.