It's possible that I may be a bad storyteller.
You see... We have a dog. And I love our dog. But I also love other people's dogs, too.
Our dog's name is Tatiana. She is most commonly referred to as "Tee" or "Teetums". SweetPea has tried unsuccessfully to change her name to "TankGirl".
Now, I agree with her in principle because, y'all, our dog is big. She may not be a Great Dane, but there's been some discussion about saddling her up and letting MonkeyDo ride her to school.
Here's a picture of Tatiana hanging out with some of her friends at the dog park:
Whoops! OK, no. That's MonkeyDo's friend Spud (in the middle) from Horse Camp, and two of his buddies.
Now here's a picture of Tatiana:
Oops, sorry! No, that's some dude doing tricks on a motorcycle. I'd like to point out to y'all that this picture was not taken with a zoom. This was my standard, basic, every day lens. Know what that means? He was close. You know what else? By the time he put that front wheel on the ground, he was even closer. Cause he was a showoff. And you know what else else? He was my favorite.
This totally isn't a picture of Tatiana, because it's a picture of Laura's beaver:
What did you think I was talking about? Dirty-minded freaks.
OK, seriously, here's our Tatiana:
Cute little shit, isn't she? She's an Akita. She's also a ratter. She likes to "play" with... uh... well, anything she can pick up, really. "Playing" for Tatiana involves whipping the critter (usually a rat) into the air by it's neck until that stops being fun. Then she cuddles it. If we don't catch it in time, she'll cuddle it until it's flat.
Other than dead critters, she's really not that into playing the way normal dogs are. If you toss a ball, she kind of looks at you like she's thinking "well that was pretty stupid". If you give her anything, say a squeaky toy or a bone, she'll take it from you (because she's polite), but then ditches it at the first opportunity.
She is just totally not a "TankGirl". She 's my Teetums. And, occasionally, "Teeteeyummier".
PS: I would like to clarify that I would not ever allow either kid to ride her. She's a large dog of a breed prone to hip displasia, and I don't intend to make that any worse for her than it probably already will be. Cause I love her.