Thoughts on Femme and Genderqueer

One of the performers at Sunday night's Gender Bender Ball was a local spoken word artist who had some things to say regarding herself and genderqueer that got me hot.

And not in the good way.

And maybe it's a case of my Femme Sensibilities getting in a twist.

Or maybe it's a case of Sacramento Dyke Culture being largely devoid of Femme Energy and Femme Identity, possibly to the point that some of our queer sisters have no experience or understanding of femininity as it applies to us.

Maybe it's rooted in the same invisibility and disregard that Femmes have fought for years.

But she stood up there talking about rejecting the binary gender system.

Rejecting high heeled shoes and dresses and makeup and push up bras.

Binding her breasts and wearing jeans and men's briefs.

Rejecting the very notion that even on this one occasion she might don a dress, even in jest or support.

What I heard was not so much a rejection of the binary gender system as it was a loud and resounding rejecting of femme and femininity.

Hell, the rejection of femininity was so complete it was practically misogynistic.

My understanding of genderqueer is that it is not as simple as putting a woman in men's clothing and giving her masculine mannerisms.

It is not as simple as putting a man in women's clothing and giving him feminine mannerisms.

Genderqueer to me is about fucking the complete gender spectrum.

It's a woman in a push up bra, lipstick and five inch heels packing a cock tucked into a pair of boxers.

It's a woman in workboots, Carhartt's and flannel with oil caked into the creases of her fingers who wears satin panties and a matching bra.

It's people comfortable enough in who they are to not choose based on gender.

And, yes, that does include women who are more comfortable on the masculine end of the spectrum and men who are more comfortable on the feminine end.

My point is that it does not exclude women who are more comfortable on the feminine end of the spectrum or men who are more comfortable on the masculine end.

And what pissed me off more than her patent dismissal of Femme as part of the genderqueer spectrum is that she is preaching this closed minded, narrow vision bullshit to the community I live in.

These are the people that cast sideways glances or downright glares when I enter Dyke Space because I "don't fit".

For the record:

I am Femme.

I am Dyke.

I am Genderqueer.

Whether I dress like this:


Or like this:



PS: I also believe that when true Genderqueer exists, Genderqueer, by it's very nature, will cease to exist.