Monday, June 28, 2010

Multiply Life by the Power of Two

I really need to work out on weekend mornings, even when there isn't a workout on the schedule.

When I have a morning workout to do, I get up, get ready, workout, and then I shower and get ready for my day. And then I figure out what I'm eating for breakfast.

When I don't workout in the morning, I lay in bed after I've woken up and think about what I can eat. Usually this line of thought leads nowhere good (read: hello, buffet!).

Saturday morning when I woke up, I knew that a very bad breakfast was just not in the works for me, but that didn't stop me from wanting one.

I dragged my lazy ass out of bed and got to chopping and pretty soon (where "pretty soon" means "about an hour") I had some nice potatoes and eggs served up on plates for SweetPea and I.

I didn't take pictures. But it was dee-lish.

A funny thing happened while all of this was going on.

I got the strangest pining.

After last weekend's adventures at Sacramento Pride Weekend, I had largely written off San Francisco Pride weekend. I mean, we'd had our celebration with The Locals, and getting to The City had been problematic at best in prior years, so it just seemed easiest to go about our business like we weren't going.

But then I was grilling some potatoes and checking my facebook and all of a sudden I just needed to be there.

So I mentioned it in passing to SweetPea, who promptly got on the horn with Neighbor, and, before I knew it, we were showered and dressed and out the door.

I'm not even going to get into our adventures for the day, because that's not even what this post is about.

This post is about the amazing change in SweetPea over prior years.

You see, SweetPea has a kind of phobia surrounding large crowds of people and, peculiarly (to me), specifically large crowds of queers.

Getting to Pride in previous years has always been something of an adventure. Even just getting SweetPea to agree to go and getting everyone out the door on time and without a fight was an uphill proposition. We ended up with certain "rules". If we'd done it before, we'd do it again. If it was new, well, it would depend on any number of factors.

In the last year or so, SweetPea has gone back to therapy with her old therapist and subsequently been referred to a fantastic psychiatrist who has been working diligently to get SweetPea's brain functioning on the same type of even-keel that most people get to enjoy as a matter of course.

The way her therapist describes it is that SweetPea's world is getting slowed down to the point where she actually has the time to observe and examine things. She can think about things and their causes and effects because her brain isn't trying to skip ahead to the next thing already.

If you've met SweetPea in the real world, you probably have an idea what I'm talking about.

This is the most simplistic way of putting what's been going on, and what I mean when I refer to us as "working on our issues".

Because the change in SweetPea has been phenomenal. You can see it in her day to day life.

But where you really see it, where the change is really knock your socks off obvious is the things that don't come up every day.

Like jumping in the van on the fly to head down to Dyke March.

Like getting out the door and on the road with no fuss, no muss and no frustrations.

Like being totally ok with ending up nowhere near where you thought you would when you started.

And that leaves me truly excited for where we might go from here.

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