I'm Kind of a Bitch

Many, many years ago, I used to work at a Call Center That Shall Remain Nameless.

I took many calls each day and a fair amount of them wanted money. As a customer service representative (CSR), I had a certain amount of "play" with what I was able to give out.

Because I was that kind of CSR, I preferred to not give anything out at all.

There were, of course, exceptions to this rule. But as a non-necessary expense billed to a credit card, I felt that consumers held a certain measure of responsibility when it came to what they were doing with their credit cards*.

I really didn't give out a lot of money.

One day I got a "warm transfer" from technical support letting me know that someone tried to use our software and it did serious damage to his system. Irreparable damage.

The guy wanted us to buy him a new system. Because, you know, it was "our fault" that his system was in the toilet.

Um.

But, dude. Did you read the part on the software where it lists the system requirements?

Did your system meet these requirements?

How is it our fault that you loaded the software, anyway?

Let me clarify these things:

1. His was an expensive system.

2. There was no flipping way I could authorize a payment of that amount, even if I wanted to.

3. I'm pretty sure he thought I was a manager.

By the time he got off the phone, he was crying. His system was toast and I wasn't going to pay for it.

I made a grown man cry and I enjoyed it.

This has pretty much set the standard for what I consider a good day at work.

Recently?

I've been enjoying work immensely.

*For the record, not once did I come across an instance where a person was incorrectly or inappropriately charged. Most common was "I created it and forgot about it" or "I didn't realize I'd be charged" (why else would you have to enter your credit card number, you fool?) and, my favorite, "my kid set the account up and I haven't looked at a credit card statement in over six months".