Friday, April 18, 2008

Thank You, Daddy, May I Have Another? - The Not Safe for Work Post

**all links are at your own risk & not work safe**

Every week, without fail, I read PostSecret (the only mostly work safe link here). It's my little Sunday tradition, and, I have to say, that on the (very rare) weeks when Frank takes a break, I have kind of a hard time because, hello!, the weekend can't be over yet if there's no PostSecret!

Y'all may not know this, but it's possible that I'm mildly compulsive.

Last week, a secret was posted that really burned me up.

This one:

Now, I am totally going to admit that I'm really not up on the "feminism" movement or where it's at. At this point in my life, if I'm going to be discriminated against, it's going to be about a whole lot more than what's between my legs. Frankly, I'd rather be able to legally marry my wife than spend my time trying to explain to someone that I can, honest, wear makeup without pandering to the patriarchal regime.

Seriously, though. Has it really come to this?

Are we really in a place where a sexually satisfied, consensual, grown woman is an abhorrence, even to feminism?


How are we not ashamed of ourselves?

A consenting adult woman asking for something, sexually, that she enjoys is anti-feminism?

Why? Because she's asking for something that allows her male partner to dominate her?

Has the feminist movement really become so black and white that it can't even allow a woman to decide for herself what she wants and what she enjoys? Is it really that hard to look below surface language to gain an understanding of what is really going on before making a judgement on a particular act or action?

To take this a step further, what if what she was asking her boyfriend to do was more than just spank her? What then?

I understand that there are a lot of people out there who don't want to climb out of their little "vanilla" bubble to make the effort of understanding the things that others enjoy sexually. That's not even, necessarily, a bad thing. But how can you go about making a judgement call on something without first taking the time to learn even the most basic fundamentals about it?

yeah, I know... we totally do it all the freaking time. shutup.

The point I'm trying to make here is that it pisses me off when people act like women can't think for themselves. That's exactly what this is. Someone impressed on her this judgement call that there must be something wrong with her because she's allowing her boyfriend to dominate her in this manner.

Why can't a woman just enjoy sex?

Why can't a woman just enjoy sex that involves being dominated and/or abused?

Does that have to mean that she can't think for herself or that she must have been abused previously and not know any better or that she's so brainwashed by the patriarchy that she thinks this is "normal"?


Women can enjoy sex. Women are capable of deciding what kind of sex they enjoy. Further, women are even capable of asking for and negotiating for the kind of sex they enjoy.

If you're a woman and you're not doing that, that doesn't make you more or less of a "feminist". But it probably means you're not enjoying sex nearly as much as you should.


elphie said...

Thought this myspace might interest you:

dolphyngyrl said...

Wait... So why is the third "friend" on their "top friends" a man?

elphie said...

If I remember correctly, he performed at one of their functions. It's not just a feminist page, it's an all things consensual is ok page.