Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I Don't Know

Apparently I totally lied when I promised that I'd get back to normal blogging this week. I just don't know what to do with this space anymore. I feel like I've had to take steps away from honesty, in part because I'm not comfortable putting some of the truths out for public consumption and in part because there's only so long the angsty, neurotic, compulsively over-analytic nutcase that is my honesty makes for an interesting read. Then the question becomes, if this blog is not a place where I can speak my truth, what value does it provide?

And I don't know the answer to that.

I know that I need to write to live, but I'm not sure that this space can feed me anymore. I don't know, right now, what to do or how to do it. Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I need to reassess what I'm using this space for. Maybe I need to have my head examined.

I don't know.

1 comment:

willem said...

why does it have to "be" about anything?

society has gotten fat and lazy. yeah, fat in the head. nobody wants to do the work anymore. let's get some self-help books, a therapist and a snarky blog or three to read. then we won't have to figure out the truth of our own lives...someone else will do the work and parcel out enlightenment to the rest of us lazy schmucks. oh, and can i get a $12 skinny latte? it'll help with the absorbed, aloof persona i'm trying to put out there for the world to see.

in my experience, some of the best (and most prolific) writers were people who simply knew how to tell a story. remember a guy named mark twain? fine storyteller, somewhat snarky (before there even *was* snark), and able to enlighten through anectdotal tales. or just plain made up ones.

oh, yeah, lest i forget the angsty in the world. ever read jack kerouac? total stream of consciousness guy, right? i have not been able to finish a single book of his that i've begun. why? because amidst all the meandering prose, i find phrases and ideas that paint so vividly in my mind, i have to stop and look at them.

in my opinion (which, coupled with $12 will get you that latte), american culture has gotten mentally flabby...so start a mental fitness craze. write a character driven screenplay/novel. don't tell people the whole story up front, then show them pretty pictures. make them work for it. engage them on whatever level you can. or better yet? engage yourself and allow the rest of the world to be voyeurs to your mental fitness program.

raconteur. be one. i dare you.