Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day Sixteen - Emails from Ma

You may not know this, but I come from a long line of mouthy, opinionated women. I'm sure you wondered where I got it from, right?

I got a couple of emails from my mom today that I liked so much that I asked if I could share them with y'all.

She said yes (obviously), so here ya go:

My latest tirade:  LGBT.  What the Hell??!!  We've named a new evil stepchild!  I know the name has been in your use for years, but now as I watch the telly, I hear it every couple of hours.  It's not the anagram itself, mind you, it's the fact that we're talking about them like they're a recent alien immigrant that is so different from "us" that "we" hardly know what to do about "them".  Oh my God!!  They're in our schools, they're in our neighborhoods, they're in our stores, and, did you know, they're even in our military, secretly serving and using the same soap as our straight troops!  How can we be sure we won't catch it?  I think we should do a one year study on this thing, using the military as an example.  SOUND FAMILIAR????

What the Hell??!!  When I think about a country (a world) without a line between lgbt and straight, the only thing that comes to mind is will we need a third public restroom?  And, if so, under what category?  Even so, I may be talking out my ass.  Will there be gays who don't want to expose themselves to straight men?  If so, will going into a stall be private enough for them?  They never had a choice before.  I don't know if it's an issue.  I know there are bible thumping haters who think lgbt's are hiding in restrooms waiting to convert them into homo's.  They're going to want a seperate restroom.  Maybe that's the third category: "Paranoid Straights".  That's it.  That's the easiest.  It takes care of everybody.  Men, Women, Paranoid Straight.  Lgbt, pick one, straight, pick one, paranoid, you know where you belong.  Then the label goes where the label belongs.  The only people actually proud to be labelled.  Oh, I'm so glad I've figured that out.  Now I have no questions about how to make this melding seemless.  Thanx for listening.

Part Two:

I hope all of this mainstream attention means that the "Great Debate" is coming to a head.  Maybe Joe and Joanne Blow are actually realizing that it really is wrong to deny a group, any group, of law abiding people their human rights guaranteed at least by our constitution, if not only by our moral standards.  Maybe they're just waiting for their leaders to tell them they feel the same way;  they've been wrong.  Everyone truly is equal and lgbt's will be given every civil right afforded to every other American without prejudice or exception.  There won't be a new amendment; it will be an obvious continuation of how our forefathers meant our country to be and what our representatives have sworn to uphold.  Maybe that's what's going on.  Inundation so every straight gets used to the term and the idea and sees no difference between what "they" want and what "they" (straights) already have.  Then let them try to find a reason why this should not be equal.  Now I get it.  This flood of discussion is a good thing.  Beat them into submission with indefutable logic and truth.  Then smother them with love.  Put out your hand.  We're all the same.  We love the same.  And I think that's huge.  Welcome to America.


Editor's note: How awesome is my mom?


Mrs. C said...

On a scale of 1-10, I'd go with 5 bazillion.
I love to see supportive parents!!

Susan said...

so I guess she knows, huh? BWAAHAA HAA!!!