Midday Ramblings of the Pseudo-Awake

I have no idea why I feel so compelled to begin the phrase "I am so tired!" with "I have no idea why..."

I mean.

I totally know why.

Between my period and the pollen and the scheduling ramifications of Grandmother Crisis 2010 (GC2010), it's no wonder I'm so damn tired and worn out.

I haven't been to the gym in over a week. I haven't walked *for reals* since Friday (twice) because I've been loathe to drag my allergy-battered face out into the wind we've been having.

Meanwhile, I'm on my period, so I'm (probably)(hopefully?) bloated and have no energy to speak of. Which is pretty normal, but so not helpful right now. On the plus side, I'm (mostly) not having a really hard time with not stuffing everything I can get my hands on into my mouth. Which is not to say that my diet has been perfect (HA!), but I've been keeping it remarkably clean, considering the circumstances.

Although I have to admit that I've developed a really bad habit of OMG do you have any idea how inexpensive it is to get a soft serve cone through a drive through? I've managed to keep this to one a day*, but it had become so regular that I finally looked up nutrition stats. And, really, the cones from McDonald's aren't that bad, all things considered. The small dipped cones from Dairy Queen are a little worse, but still way better than a Zingers Incident. And then I found out that McDonald's has a kid's cone, which is about 1/3 the fat & calories. Probably 1/3 the size, too, but I actually have no problem with that. I just like getting a little treat here & there.

Also: do you have any idea how much brown rice I've been eating? And I don't even like it? And poor, poor MonkeyDo who looks a lot like I'm trying to poison her whenever I make dinner anymore. Although I think she likes the spinach I put in everything less than I like the brown rice.

I guess after you choke on something and have to drag a long, slimy clump of it out of your throat, the thrill is just gone.

Fortunately for her, she's eating dinner at her father's house tonight, which I imagine will look a lot like:

Or:
Speaking of hot dogs, did you hear about that guy** who thinks there needs to be a redesign of hot dogs because they're so dangerous? Not because they're filled with nitrates and butcher-floor-scrapings and all manner of disgusting things but because their size & shape makes them a choking hazard for kids.

*blink*

*blink*

How about we just not feed kids that crap until they're old enough to chew before they swallow?

Or just never? Because never works for me.

Today I am leaving work early for the sole purpose of getting home early enough to take a goddamned nap. And then I fetch up MonkeyDo, deliver her to her father and possibly venture off to yoga. Oh. Pardon me. "Deep Stretching".

*eyeroll*

I'd really like something stretchy and hard but meditative and happybrainmaking. You know, like yoga was when class was taught by my yoga boyfriend first instructor. Instead of the long, slow aerobics warmup with the chatty instructor that is the other Wednesday night class.

*sigh*

I think what I really need is more sleep, lots of water and maybe a Benadryl IV.

*NO not EVERY day. Mostly.

**I'm totally too lazy to look this up, but I betcha you could google it if you wanted to.

PS: I totally forgot to mention this. Are Furlough Fridays really over? I have to say I'll believe it when I see it, but it's kind of exciting to see what happens.