Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Eighty Four Minutes

I was on the phone last night with a friend for an hour and twenty four minutes.

This is so monumentally unheard of that I'm kind of surprised that GayTee & Tee hasn't checked in to see if my cell phone was, in fact, stolen.

I don't even have to guess that it's not a good sign that an 84 minute phone conversation is such an anomaly. I want to tell you that I'm just not a phone person, and, while that's true, that's not the whole picture. I don't make phone calls a priority. I don't call people even though I probably should, but when I end up on the phone with someone, I usually forget what it is, exactly, that makes me think I'm "not a phone person".

Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I'm kind of lazy and inadvertently inconsiderate?


We talked about all manner of things, laughing and holding back tears and carefully crafting our plot for world domination. It's what we do.

We talked about the vision he has for his life, what he hopes to do and accomplish, what led him there and how he might connect the dots into a completed project.

The interesting thing about friends is that it seems like they all have this life they live before they come into yours. Sometimes, in the course of conversations, you can get a picture of what that life was like and, frequently, I've found myself wishing I could have been a part of that picture.

Everyone has their own path to walk, though, and it's not like I get to dictate how that plays out for anyone, myself included.

Even if I am kind of a bossy bitch.

And then this morning this was posted and I found myself thinking back to that a-ha! moment of feeling, where you feel like you may not have all the answers, exactly, but that you can see the path laid out in front of you plain as day.

I've been in that place, in that moment, more than once, and it's helped me make some very big decisions.

I know that I've talked (ad nauseum?) about the trouble I have trying to find my "calling", my path in life. Thinking back on that this morning, I feel like I've had that flicker of a-ha! more than once. That maybe I've even seen the path open for me. And then I get distracted, and life intervenes and I (Pisces!) lose my follow-through and find myself directionless again.

At the same time, I feel like there is not a singular path but, instead, a labyrinth for me to walk.

I think that's the part where I get hung up.

Over the weekend, I felt like I got a glimpse of that path, or, rather, another segment of the labyrinth. I could see it plain as day and it made so much sense and fit so well with other portions of the labyrinth. I started some research and have much more to do. Not to mention lots of talking and planning with SweetPea, who, obviously, would stand to be affected by whatever decision I make.

Maybe I'll start using this space for processing, as Dawn's been doing.

Maybe I'll start using all the gorgeous notebooks I've been hoarding like Rose does.

Maybe I'll quit talking in circles and find a direction.

Stranger things have happened.


My horoscope for today:

Your friends have something crucial to tell you and you better listen carefully now, or you could miss an important fork in the road. If you aren't paying close attention, you'll continue down the same path you have been traveling, whether or not it's the best option. Even when doors begin to open, it is still your choice about which ones to walk through. Heed the advice you are given today and choose wisely.


1 comment:

Dawn on MDI said...

thanks for the linky love!

What I have been striving for is not clear direction so much as being open to what the universe has in store for me. I ask that I do what it takes to get out of my own way. I wish for you the same kind of openness and freedom and courage to step into the scary bit at start down whatever path it is that your heart knows to be true. Blessed be, sisterfriend. Blessed be.