One of the hardest parts of friendship for me is the sharing.
I've been burned so many times in different ways that I am really cautious about sharing with people more than superficially.
I've been laughed at, had things thrown back at me or used against me, had people share things that were told to them in confidence, or just plain walk away while still holding my heart and all its contents.
I feel like I need to trust people more, give them the benefit of the doubt, learn to open up more.
And then I get burned again and wonder what the hell I could have been thinking to open myself up like that.
Every time it happens I feel myself locking away more. Sharing less. Every time it happens it's someone I thought I could trust. Someone I thought I could share with and not end up regretting having done so.
I wonder if I'm supposed to be learning to trust people even while being fully aware that it may well go wrong. Or if I'm supposed to be learning to just not let anyone in at all.
I don't know.
What I do know is that I've been burned again, and I'm feeling rather raw and exposed.
And I have no idea where to go from here.