In Bullet Form

Totally Random Crap That You Could Probably Care Less About:

1. I think I have Vampire Boobs. I'm wearing the same size and style of panties that I wore yesterday, but they seem more loose than they reasonably should be. Also, my blouse seems a lot more baggy around the hip area than the last time I wore it. My pants, even, seem more loose. My tits? Bigger. Clearly, the only rational way of explaining this is that my boobs are absorbing tissue from other parts of my body in their never-ending quest to take over the world.

2. There is so much floating around in my head that I want to write about that it has created a blockade and nothing will come out. The fact that life and work have taken over all of my time is not helpful.

3. There are so many things that I want to get done, that I need to get done, that I am feeling completely and hopelessly overwhelmed. I'm not even sure where to start on all of it. I think I need a month off from work and a keg of diet Coke. That might get me started in the right direction.

4. I totally would just rather nap.

5. I am driving into San Francisco on Friday with a coworker for a business meeting. I am driving. I have never driven in The City before in my entire life. Ever. Y'all can laugh at me all you want, but I am not feeling enthused about this.

6. Searching etsy.com for a new facial cleanser. My face really enjoys (generally) the handmade stuff. Whenever I see something listed as "gentle", I have a little internal snort and move on. My face mocks gentle cleansers and then grows more pimples to prove itself.

7. There's not a lot about me that can be described as "gentle".

8. SweetPea and I were talking this morning, and I remarked that anyone coming to me for a "feel good" moment was seriously barking up the wrong tree. Most of the time, if people stopped acting like buttheads, I'd be more inclined to give them a good feel hug or a pat on the back. But if you're acting like an ass (to me), I'm really not going to try and make you feel better.

9. The going consensus is that I'm a bitch. But I have no idea where people get this idea.

10. *snort*