So Suave it Hurts

Dear Internets,

I am losing my mind.

(No comments from the peanut gallery, thank you!)

I have been so tired this week and I'm really not sure why. I'm also achey and crabby, which makes me think that I'm either coming down with something or I'm fixing to start my period.

Again.

If it turns out to be the latter, my uterus is so fired.

My senior year of high school, it was not uncommon for me to be so tired by the time that Friday rolled around that I would come home from school, climb into bed for a "nap" and wake up sometime Saturday morning. Sometimes my mom managed to wake me up enough to ask if I wanted dinner. I'm pretty sure my response was something along the lines of "*grumble*snarf*grumble*".

I've lived such an exciting life.

Most seniors had, you know, dates and parties and stuff on Friday nights.

Me? I had a standing date with a 16 hour nap.

Today is my dad's birthday.

Happy birthday, dad!

Here's a little insight into the way my mind works:

My dad and my mother's mother both have birthdays in January. Through the luck of some random draw, I ended  up having a prom on each of their birthdays. Thanks to that, I can never remember which birthday is which.

The only way I ever figure out for sure (outside of asking dad for the umpteenth time) is by looking up my grandmother's information on the Social Security Death Index.

Yes, really.

Once again proving that I am so suave it hurts.

Did you know that I asked out my very first prom date?

How women's lib was I?

OK, seriously, though... Nobody asked me and I didn't have a date! So I asked a friend of mine if he'd be my date.

I was so nervous about calling him that I thought I was going to puke. When his brother said he wasn't home and could he call me back... How frustrating! I finally built up all of this nerve to actually do it and he wasn't even there?

We ended up double dating with his best friend (who I had a [probably not so] secret crush on) and his date, and we all met up at his friend's house. The four of us looked really awesome, and my date's friend made the comment that we all looked very suave. Only he didn't say it like "suave". He said "swuv". And we all kind of paused for a moment before bursting out laughing and I've never pronounced it correctly since.

More than that, though, really. Suave took on a new meaning for me, directly related to that feeling of being all done up and dressed to the nines but still being a total dork ass, anyway.

Because, kids, you can dress the girl up, but there's no making her not a total dork ass.

Much Love,
The Verbosery

PS: It's also "patterens" and not "patterns". But for different reasons.