I Bet You Thought I was Kidding

Did you ever have one of those days where so many totally random things went so wrong that you just knew if you told anyone about it, they would never in a million years ever believe that you weren't making it up?

That day has officially become My Life.

Take this morning, for example.

We borrowed grandpa's van for the day, and we were going to drop the truck off at the shop, and then head off in the van on our normal routine.

Except that SweetPea misplaced her cell phone. So she borrowed my cell phone to call hers so that she could locate it.

We all filed out the door, and SweetPea takes off in the truck to the shop.

I pile two kids and a dog into the van and then discover that the damn thing won't start and there's a little red light flashing "Theft" on the dashboard.

Um. Kay.

Now, we have one of these things in the truck, but we haven't had the key/chip/remote for it in years, so we just turn it off. I'm familiar with the theft lock deterrent thing, so I'm looking around and trying to figure out how I can fix it, but nothing I'm trying works.

Meanwhile, did I mention SweetPea borrowed my phone?

Maybe I didn't get to the part about how she never gave it back.

Also, did you know that we don't have a landline?

Anyone see where I'm going with this?

So here I am at home, sitting in a van that won't start with NO WAY of letting her know that I have a problem. I literally have to just sit there and wait until she realizes that it's been way too long and something's wrong and drives back to the house.

When she finally got back, it took about five minutes to finally figure it out (uh - locking the steering wheel. WTF?), and we finally got on our way.

I was already late for work, so we dropped MonkeySee off first, so he wouldn't be late. Again.

On the drive out to work, SweetPea listens to her voicemail and discovers that her friend needs a ride to a dental appointment this morning (she'd called the night before) at 9am. Even though it's a tight fit and will make the day that much more hectic, SweetPea agrees to do it.

When we get to my work, I bring MonkeyDo up with me. I found the receipt for the last thermostat change, and wanted to make a copy - one to keep, and one to give to the mechanic so he would honor the warranty. I ran the copy, handed it to MonkeyDo and sent her on her way.

Except that, apparently, the receipt was for a thermostat change on the Volvo and not the Chevy.

SweetPea hits the house again, finds the correct receipt, hands it and the keys over to the mechanic and then heads off to her friend's appointment.

Nearly forgetting the part about stopping to pick her friend up.

This afternoon my manager wants to meet to discuss my "Individual Development Plan". Basically where we discuss my performance and the plan to improve it.

Those of you who are aware of my work issues will understand just how much I am looking forward to this meeting. (NOT!)

I think if she does say anything about my performance not being "above accepted standards", I'm going to have to ask if it's because I don't spend enough time grazing with my mouth open.

Just think: In less than 34 hours my week will be OVER and I can officially begin the vegetation of my mind.

THANK GOODNESS!

PS: My email doesn't know how to spell "Chevy". How awesome is that?