Dear Internets,

I should probably actually eat something today, huh? I'm not entirely sure the bagel that was lovingly toasted for me this morning by not my-Starbucks-dyke or the stick of cheese I crammed in my gaping maw mouth a little while ago counts.

I think, at this point, food that requires actual preparation is in order.

Pooh.

Ooh!

I have a coupon for a drink at Starbucks... Wonder if that pumpkin spice latte is good cold?

Um...

That's close to food, right?

Oh, hell.

Close enough!

Love,
Your Favorite Pseudo-Bachelorette