An Open Letter to a Local Tattoo Artist

Dear Local Tattoo Artist (who shall remain nameless),

You have a website, which is awesome. Nobody in the field should be without one. Go you!

Most of the pertinent information pertaining to your shop and yourself is available on the myspace.com page for the shop and the one for yourself.

Um. Kay.

You have an email address on your website as contact information. Which is super awesome. I am so much better at the email, sometimes.

Unfortunately, there is only one email for the entire shop. Not specific email addresses for each artist.

Because I am not interested in contacting one of the random people that work in your shop, I feel it would be a little awkward to begin the message all "I'm sure you're cool and all, but I really only want to talk to Person A." I totally think that would be rude.

The only contact information I have that links directly to you, the artist with which I would like to work, is your myspace page.

So I send you a message.

Which you read.

But don't reply to.

That's not even the end of the story, esteemed tattoo artist! Because even with my practically worthless memory I remember that this is the second time we've done this song and dance.

I send you a message all about the hi! I'd love to give you some money for doing that thing you love to do and you're all "who is this crazy person and why does she think I want to talk to her?"

So I did what any relatively sane person would do. I researched the other shops and artists in our area.

Do you have any idea how many that is?

Like, a lot.

And you know what? I think I found a shop and an artist that I like a lot better.

See what happened there?

Just a little snippet of rude and you've lost my business.

Sure, I only need a little something something right now. But do you realize that I have an aim of at least 60% coverage? Do you realize that my wife and I know a lot of people who are into body modifications and consider us experts in the field and would totally take our word for it if we directed them to a specific shop or artist?

Are you starting to do the math in your head?

Good.

Next time, maybe you should try hitting "reply" when you get an inquiry regarding your work.

Just a suggestion.