Tuesday, July 08, 2008
The Things We Forget
Over the weekend, before, even, our adventures Sunday morning, I began feeling as though I had lost sight of a vision I had of the direction I wanted my life to go in.
It's hard keeping track of everything when your personality contains so many different, and often conflicting, facets.
When I created my 101 Things list, I thought that I had done a good job of trying to integrate all of the things I'm interested in doing and accomplishing. Unfortunately, there was a whole portion of who I am that had been allowed to go dormant and, essentially, be forgotten about.
It slammed back into me over the weekend and suddenly I was keenly aware of the void it had left. The realization was overwhelming and almost physically painful and when I looked back over the time that had elapsed since I'd allowed myself to set this down all I could think of was how much less distressing the time since may have been had I simply held on to it.
I think that, at the time, it was a chicken-and-the-egg, pot/kettle thing. I became completely overwhelmed and this seemed like just one more chore, one more task on an ever expanding to-do list. Unfortunately, hindsight being 20-20, I realize now that, had I followed through with my involvement, it probably would have provided the down time and recentering that I needed so much.
It's hard to shuffle priorities and agenda items when some of them verge on contradictory.
For example, how does one reconcile a desire to be ever more eco-conscious with a drive to partake in activities that frequently all but require the consumption of miniature packets of nutrients?
I'm going to re-evaluate my list and reassess ways I can include a wider range of items and, hopefully, capture more completely those things I would really like to get accomplished.
Hopefully the list will remain a way to keep me on track towards my goals, and not become yet another to-do list.