Tuesday, June 10, 2008

News Roundup

Clean your closets!:

In Maryland and in California, two separate Mega Millions tickets were found - both worth $250K, and both all but discarded. One forgotten in a coat pocket, the other stuffed into a recliner that was headed for the curbside trash pick up.

Wouldn't that have sucked?

Pick up the damn phone, that's what:

This is heartbreaking and enraging, all at the same time.

"We talked with the staff to see how this could be prevented and we could not come up with anything."  Seriously? I mean, I haven't been to Massachusetts, but I'm pretty damn sure y'all have telephones out there. You couldn't have picked one up and, oh, I don't know, called the owner? Because that would have been my first thought. Also, if you're having that much of a hard time keeping kennel cards with the dogs they belong to, maybe you should work something out where you're attaching the card to the dog. Say, using a collar?

As for Sarah Eldredge, I'd really love to know: Didn't anybody ever teach you that you do not physically break up dogs that are fighting? Call your dog, soak them with the hose, use a broom but do not insert your appendages into the cyclone of snapping dog teeth. That never ends well.

Kevin Seymour, your dog may have been a terrier mix, but it was a pit bull terrier mix. Did you ever look at him?  Get off your high horse about that. Unless it affected their decision to euthanize the dog, get over it. But sue the crap out of them for the other thing.

SPF 893:

I'd really like to staple this article to MonkeySee's forehead the very next time they go to their dad's house.

You may not have noticed this, but MonkeySee is a fishbelly-white, orange-headed kid, and tends to burn in about 8 seconds flat. You do not send this kid to spend the day at the pool without serious layers of sunscreen, reapplied throughout the day.

Oh, wait.

Well, I wouldn't.

Clearly his dad would.

In Other News:

Apparently, I'm rather crabby today. I'm sure it's the hot. Well, it could be the hot.

It could also be the lack of cake.

Or the having to call someone who has been an attorney longer than I have been alive and explaining to him how to do his job. Which I might enjoy more if I could bill him.

No comments: