Oh, honey. If you only knew.
SweetPea and I actually don't have a lot of lesbian friends. The lesbians we've met around town have tended to be weird, cliquish or judgemental. And I don't mean weird in a good way, just so we're clear.
Neighbor is a lesbian, and we probably spend more time with her than anyone else. She lives two houses down, though, and that makes it a lot easier.
Lynk is also a lesbian, but we haven't heard from her in months, and, probably, because she's back on drugs. The thing about Lynk is that, when she's clean and sober, she's so cool and laid back and sweet you really just want to climb up into her aura and curl up. Picture the classic hippie dyke, with the handmade clothes, grows her own food, is accepting of everyone and everything and understands she'll still be learning until the day she dies, and you've got a pretty close idea of what she's like. When she's been drinking or she's on drugs, she's so angry and aggresive and twitchy and skinny. I'm not sure that I will ever truly understand how someone would prefer to be that - even though I know that's not the actual choice she's making. The other thing about Lynk is she knows that SweetPea and I have bullshit detectors that are way strong - and that we'll call you on it, and that we won't put up with it.
OK, so I totally just off onto a tangent.
We've tried making more lesbian friends, and it really hasn't worked out so well. We met one couple at my stepsister's baby shower a couple of years back. They met her because they were frequent guests where she used to strip. That probably should have been a clue. We all went out to dinner and had a good time, so it seemed like it would be a good thing. Except the whole thing fell into this cycle where they'd leave us messages saying "why don't you ever call? you never call". So SweetPea would call and they wouldn't answer the phone and then would never call back. After awhile, we just gave up because it was stupid and frustrating and we didn't even like them as much as all that in the first place. The other thing was that we both got the feeling that they were interested in doing some sort of wife-swapping thing. While SweetPea and I have never had that talk, it's safe to say that neither of us was even remotely interested in swapping with either of them. Because eew.
With SweetPea and I, it doesn't come down to what labels apply to a person. What matters is who they are, and whether or not they're "one of ours".
It can be easier when dealing with friends who are lesbians, because there are some conversations that just make more sense when you already understand the dynamics involved in lesbian relationships and in being a lesbian in a still largely homophobic world.
For example... Not having to explain what packing* is. Not having to answer the question "well, if you're going to date a woman who looks like a man, why don't you just date a man?"^ Understanding that mainstream media is making entirely too big of a deal out of the pregnant man and that it happens a lot more often than most people realize. Lesbian friends are also going to be more likely to understand why we can't go to that bar for karaoke night, because it just wouldn't end well.
But none of that means that, by default, lesbians would be better friends for either of us.
As for you, specifically, Girl... I think you'd fit right in.
PS: I'll get to the other part of your question later on this weekend. Right now I'm supposed to be getting ready because SweetPea, Neighbor and I are actually going to go hang out with a group of lesbians who are friends of one we know. But don't really like.
* the act of wearing a strap on cock, specifically under clothes
^ not that I think you'd ever say anything like that, but I have had female friends ask this question in all seriousness
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