Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Big Blue Ox

I'm home today with Monkey See, who has been smacked in the ass with (I hope) allergies due to the wind yesterday (and again today. Ah, the joy). He is sounding better, and the wind is supposed to be gone by tomorrow, so we should be back at our normal routine.

This morning, while Monkey See was napping, SweetPea and I ran down to the tire store to get a puncture fixed and the tires rotated on the truck (Babe). We took both vehicles just in case.

I love when they lift the truck up. They lift the chassis and lift and lift and lift and finally her tires come creeping up off the ground, like she's just not willing to stop touching the earth, thankyouverymuch. Remember that one tire commercial, where the lift the car up and the tire pulls up hunks of concrete? I think of that every time, and, really, I half expect that to happen.

Because of that, though, there is no changing a flat on the truck. We discovered this a couple of years back when someone blew a tire in the parking lot at the state fair. We tried our jack. We tried a jack that belonged to a dude that was driving a bobtail. We tried the tow truck driver's jack. Nothing doing. There was no getting the chassis high enough off the ground to get the tire to let go. We finally had to rig it to the tow truck and lift it up that way. So if we get a flat, there is no getting around having to call tow.

This could be totally common in full size trucks and I would have no idea. It's definitely one of our truck's more endearing qualities, though.

When it came time to leave, some jackass had blocked me in even though he was in a parking space (I was driving the Volvo). He had a long-ass 80-somethings Ford truck, with the extended bumpers. Picture the corner of a parking lot, with spaces on both sides of the corner. I was in the cornerest spot, and there was a car parked next to me. The cornerest spot on the other side of me was empty. Jackass parked in the spot next to that. He backed in, and his nose was blocking 2/3's of my space, only one space away from my ass. The whole section of spaces on the other side of him was empty, so he totally could have parked down more and left me room to get out. But I guess it's hard to be considerate when your penis is inverted.

Later on, SweetPea was chatting about how a friend once offered to install a roll cage inside the truck. The little light bulb went on over my head. I told SweetPea we should get the Volvo (Jill) wrapped in a roll cage. That way, if that sort of thing happens again, I can just move the offending vehicle on my way out. No harm, no foul.

To me.

I think SweetPea may not think this is such a good idea. I have no idea why.

PS: I'll be putting up a post by the weekend (I sincerely freaking hope) that is not safe for work. It will be labeled as such. I will not be kidding. Those of you who check in on readers should be ok as long as you reserve link-clicking for homesies. Those of you who check in from your work computer may want to look into google reader.

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