Thursday, March 27, 2008

Today is the Day of Reckoning


Pet Peeve of the Morning:

High beams and fog lamps.

In normal urban driving conditions, you should need neither. In fact, if you feel like you need them to see to drive by, perhaps you should not be driving at all.

I do not understand the obsession with them, and they tick me off. They hurt my eyes, and while you may not consider that your problem - I do.

If I ever snap and go crazy you'll know about it. You'll start seeing news reports of a crazed woman with a bat busting the lights out of cars.

Where the hell is my silver bullet?:

I went online the other day and ordered each of the dogs one of these. Along with my order receipt, I received a link to a document that gave instructions on how to use the harness to train my dogs not to pull.

Um.

Qué?

In theory, couldn't I just use a regular collar + your instructions to train my dog not to pull on walkies?

OK, I know this sounds bad, but what I had been led to expect was something along the lines of a silver bullet fix. A harness that would make it so uncomfortable for my dog to pull that she would just stop. Maybe not instantly become the best behaved walkies dog ever, but stop pulling. What the hell do I need to buy your damn harness for if I still have to put effort into it by training my dog to walk on a leash properly?

$50 plus shipping ago, I was at a place where I was going to have to take the time & effort to train my dog to walk on a leash properly.

$50 plus shipping later, I am at a place where I am going to have to take the time & effort to train my dog to walk on a leash properly.

Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture? (please raise your hand if your answer to this question involves the phrase "never, ever should be allowed to own a dog, ever, ever again")

Walkies:

No, I did not take the crap machine on walkies down to the school again last night. I was just too tired to deal. Also, I knew she'd had play time in the yard with SweetPea.

Instead:

Monkey Do and I sauntered on down to the local Chinesery and procured yummyness in the form of vegetarian Sweet & Sour "Pork", Almond "Chicken", and Egg Rolls. OK, we also got SweetPea some decidedly non-vegetarian General's Chicken.

I would have brought leftovers for lunch, but I still have half my lunch leftover from yesterday.

Tired:

I am so tired that I am not entirely sure how I'm managing to be awake right now.

Between allergies, being on the rag, still recovering from the damn flu, and SweetPea coughing all night from the flu, it feels like someone popped a cork in my heel and all my energy drained out onto the floor.

Apparently, the night before last, there was some business about me fighting SweetPea over her knee pillow.

Because of her back, SweetPea sleeps with a pillow between her knees.

Well, to hear her tell it, during the night I ended up with it between my knees. She tried to take it back and I smacked her. She tried again and I kicked her. So she went back to sleep. When she woke up later, I still had it, but now I was dangling it over the side of the bed, still clutching it, like "You are not getting this pillow back!"

Also:

The last couple of days I've had a thing about diet Coke. It seems that if diet Coke is not physically in my mouth, it feels like there is something wrong in the universe.

Right.

2 comments:

Wine Dog said...

You ordered a Weimariner online?

dolphyngyrl said...

I know you take your chances with freshness, but the prices just can't be beat.