Friday, March 21, 2008

Natomas IHOP is The Suck

Our waitress was cute and sweet and friendly but, y'all, that just didn't help matters at all. She was slow as hell. I had to tell her three times that I wanted a diet Coke, even though I was looking her in the eye the other two times I asked. Hello! I'm the one that can't hear, not you. We ordered these Horton Hears a Who drinks that they had - red and blue jello in sprite. That's what the Monkeys were sucking down in that picture. That one was SweetPea's, but she was too chicken to try it.

Food took forever to come out. It is a bad sign, y'all, when not one but two other tables are eating before you when they arrived after you. She brought out our appetizers with our dinner. When the food did come out, all the plates were hot, but not fresh from the dishwasher or a warmer hot. It was way hot. Like they'd been sitting in an oven or under a heat lamp long enough to heat the plates up real good. Uh. Nice, good to know. None of us had whipped cream on what was supposed to have whipped cream on it. And she only brought out half of my order.

Here's a free tip for all of you IHOP waitresses:

IHOP does not sell pancakes, by themselves, in plates of two pancakes. If you order just pancakes, no eggs and whatnot, that comes in a plate of four pancakes. If there is a plate of two pancakes, there is, by default, another plate that goes with it. So, when you're checking the oven for the order because you're finally done with your cigarette break and feel like serving your customers? Get both plates.

My eggs, which I had ordered over medium, were rubber on the top and on the bottom, and runny as hell/practically raw on the inside. My pancakes were burnt and cold.

I understand that my lack of hearing was fortunate given the dinner conversation going on at the table behind us. IHOP can't really help that, so I guess I'm not going to hold it against them, but it certainly didn't assist our experience much.

Also, I just have to say this: Miss Stripper Lady? Why is a hotass African American woman trying so hard to look like LiLo? I don't know if you draw those freckles on or what, but that spray of country-girl freckles? Seriously. Fucking. Hot. You really need to rethink your dating choices, though. As hot as you are, you should be dating people that will take you some place nice. Not the "airport" IHOP.

All in all, I have to say that I have a more enjoyable time and get better food when SweetPea and I go down to the KMart Diner. Even the time when that one toothless old lady looked like she wanted to throw down because that poor baby was trapped at a table with all the Damn Dykes (*gasp*!).

Yeah. Even that time.


Gruppie Girl said...

You sound a little bitter. cough, cough.

I'm not fortunate to have an IHOP near by. Unfortunately, I have a seriously sucky Friendlys. Yuck!

Next time you are in CT I'll whip up some pankackes for the family. I can't promise jello cubes in sprite. Would you settle for apple juice?

dolphyngyrl said...

Yeah, I tend to get a little bitter when my food sucks. It's part of my particular fat girl curse.

Frankly, I've never been to an IHOP that I considered worth what they charge, so you're not missing much.

And I'm sure you make way better pancakes!